Weather Forecast – Wetter Then A Reject Wedding

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By: Daiyu Tang

Reader, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, (although secretly I know you lot dig it) so I’m afraid to report that our affiliate media organisation that actually can afford weather reporters and probably some data from Satellites is indicating that there is the risk of heavy rain in the second or so week of August.

The good news is that they advise me that this isn’t hurricane weather as far as they can tell, but that those of us in low lying areas, such as large parts of the Laveau coast, around Batterie beach in Hathian and some of the other lower lying areas in Rougarou and surrounding could be at risk of flooding. There may also be a higher risk of water related issues such as groundwater pollution, mudslides and other issues. With the creaking state of Hathian infrastructure, better board shut your toilets if it does start to chuck it down! Backed up sewage is no joke!

At the present time this is only an estimate and of course the strength (or weakness) of any weather system is highly dependent on a range of factors that the boffins didn’t include in their explanation to us.

As always Citizens, stay safe and for those of you who do love the bad news, here is the Observer’s weather related tracker of bad news (and a few years where things were calmer, like I am sure we all hope for 2024!)

((Event Link))

Hathian Weather

  • In 2009 a tornado befell the city, causing damage and injuries and likely cover for a murder
  • In 2010 an aircraft fell on the city during a storm, causing widespread destruction to the FDH. Further issues were also reported at the HGH which suffered a partial roof collapse due to water damage and across local businesses. Storm warnings were issued, but there was significant impacts felt weeks later.
  • In 2011, another year of bad storms, led to the city loosing power and widespread reports of looting and other issues including citizens attempting to use indoor generators and potentially risking fire, electrocution or carbon monoxide poisoning
  • In 2012, it was Isaac that started a trail of destruction… residents had got used to it… sort of. Still there was all the usual issues…
  • In 2013, Tropical Storm Karen dumped water and wrose on Hathian which led to potential drownings and long term blackouts across the town.
  • In 2014, the stormy weather came earlier than expected, leading to the usual floors and poor weather conditions. Still, it seemed from our archives that there was less damage than in many prior years, that was until later in the year when a freak lightning storm damaged parts of Hathian.
  • 2015 was a year of drought, what started as a warning about rising temperatures quickly led to the declaration of a major drought and when temperatures eventually dropped, there had been all sorts of Hathian shenanigans.
  • In 2016, the city seemed to escape weather related events, but it was a wave of biting that swept through the city, as effectively as flood water. This was followed by contamination of the city’s water supply, leading to a state of emergency being declared that would eventually last nearly two months before it was terminated after the CDC and others got involved.
  • 2017 delivered strange fogs to Hathian, which later turned out to be the work of criminals who were eventually all caught (what a surprise) and ended the years with very unusual cold weather.
  • 2018 and 2019 were years of not much weather related woe as far as our intern told us via her research… Yay for normality right readers?
  • 2020, while there were storms, it was more the storm of the pandemic that reached Hathian…
  • In 2021, significant spring storms caused Hathian which caused significant flooding and led to boats being out on the streets with houses underwater. Sadly this wasn’t the only adverse weather and later in the year Hurricane Ida struck, with the potential to cause significant damage
  • In 2022, there was significant flooding across the city after heavy, heavy rains
  • In 2023, there was a hurricane, extensive power issues and looting and a weather related plane crash!
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