The ‘Toothfairy’ Made Real / Mourning Céleste

Photos: Various Credits (John Childermass primarily)

Readers, has the Observer got a live one for you today! Well poor choice of words actually… The story involves one man in a coffin, one woman with a plate added to her skull (who also died for a short while) and the general chaos that often accompanies disputes between individuals (and factions) in Hathian.

I don’t even know where to start, but let’s assume at some point it was about dick and then let’s go from there and find out a better reason.

“Celeste has been stalking me for weeks because she wants my Samoan Salami”


No… This comment from Zeek isn’t in the starting point. It’s just an interesting inflection point in the story. So where does this story start? It starts sometime before Céleste was hung from the bridge at Hangman’s Pass. It starts like many things start with someone getting hurt and not taking it lying down (except at the time when they were being kicked obviously).

It’s Better to Swim in the Sea below Than to Swing in the Air and Feed the Crow

What did Céleste do to provoke Zeek? A man who has in the past alleged he is completely innocent and not at all related to any gang. Yet now, he is quite comfortable revealing links to one of the most feared gangs in Hathian, the King Street Bones, or ‘KSB’.

Zeek – ‘The Toothfairy’

Our newspaper first became aware of Zeek when he was introduced as a bodyguard for a doctor. Nothing to see there, but it seemed good. Later he was interviewed prior to his fight with Landon Fyre, HPD’s most recognisable face.

Zeek then became more famous when he was later videoed being abused by HPD officers in the street and since then rumours and whisperings of his increasingly violent approach to the public has reached the Observer, including so called ‘teeth taking’, thus his nickname. You can view Zeek’s Twitter here, but it’s not got that much content. Zeek may not be the biggest social media user even if he is larger than life in Hathian, but when he does appear on it, swirls of dark nature do appear, see our yellow highlighting below.

How the Observer reported once Zeek’s ‘True Colours’ were shining through and how Why Verdandi led credence to the tooth rumour.

Céleste – ‘The Mourning Wood Giver’

The Observer introduced the recently reopened ‘Mourning Wood’ funeral home in an article in November. Other than that, not much was known about the glamorous Céleste to me or the Observer archives before that. To be honest there wasn’t that much reason to dig into her, even if she was slightly suspicious, or even if she did streak past HPD. Others have done that before, probably not however screaming ‘Hail Satan’ as they went. You go girl.

Céleste picture at the opening of HGH found herself in need of their care after two encounters with Zeek

That need to investigate changed however through the course of this article as we uncovered both an apparent hanging of Céleste from Hangman’s Bridge as well as further details of her opening party and event she hosted that led to her being hospitalised; literally dead on arrival and worse…

But as always, even before we dug, for those in the know, little clues as to their animosity filtered out, including concerns and issues with other potential KSB members or associates. The linked Twitter thread is illuminating…

Putting aside some obvious rivalry, let us quote for you reader the extent of Céleste’s injuries before you read more about a Hanging and a Party… The following records have been disclosed to the Observer from trusted sources and in the interests of understanding a brutal attack have been shared to the extent required to ensure Hathian Citizens are aware of what can come from FAFO.

“Clinically dead and resuscitated. Knife wound and pictured lung. Blunt Force Trauma”
“With fully bruised neck after being hung off hangman’s bridge.”

The Bridge

No photos exist that the Observer has been able to find of the situation that HPD and First Responders must have encountered when they came to Céleste hanging. Having been in a similar situation, I can only feel abject horror at the brutality. What caused this event? Does it matter? Hanging a woman from a bridge is cruel, brutal and psychopathic. Surely, there is no argument Zeek can put forward for his actions?

“It’s a shame she didnt die when i hung her off Hangmans Pass. And yeah.. she fucked around and Bones found out…”


So… he was really mad, but what caused it. Digging some with Zeek and others gave a little more context, remember above where I said Zeek was beaten by HPD officers? It turns out that one of those officers was Locke de Rolo… and guess who is dating Locke de Rolo? Céleste…

Now, dating someone shouldn’t be a reason to get hung (or killed). The sins of someone else are usually not the sins of your bit on the side. Well, unless you’re Céleste and start poking the bear.

From Twitter

So, after poking the bear (and there was more on Twitter) some might think, ‘well’ she’s made a bed she should sleep in it? Personally, I think that is taking things just a little too far, and hanging? That’s really far.

“i don’t do things for no reason. Do you remember when I was front page of the paper for being waterboarded by 4 cops? Celeste’s boyfriend Locke was one of those cops. In fact he was the reason I was on the ground. He’d also pulled two of my teeth that same day. So when Celeste became a keyboard warrior and mocked me on Twitter saying her boyfriend kicked my ass.. and then she decided to venture over to Bones and Reject territory.. she had to pay the toll bridge. Consider me the toll bridge fairy


I wondered if this could be it, it turned out it wasn’t, the cycle continued..

Live. Die. Repeat.

Zeek: “Celeste had her Morningstar cronies come attack me and my sister Eva at Jimmies on my first day as owner.”

W-e-l-l… I guess that kinda explains that? What do you think Hathian – did the sins of Locke and the Morningstar (we’re reported on them here) mean Céleste was a sinner? That she had directed this? In part, what does that mean for all the other keyboard warriors? Will someone hang Ryder next?

And what does this mean between the KSB and the ‘Morningstars’. Considering so far we just have some promo and an attack on a chicken shop? My money, if asked, was that the KSB could rain just normal fire down on the ‘Stars. I’ll be waiting to see if Satanic Hellfire answers in return but maybe doubt it.

The Party

December 9th 2023 was the date of the official opening of the Mourning Wood funeral home. Posters and ads had appeared around town and I guess if I was an angry man on a mission of vengeance he would have known and been able to attend.

The event, which was well attended involved a surprise and that surprise was Zeek himself, dressed as if he was a bimbo Barbie inside a coffin. While our reporter on site was rather shocked and thus didn’t follow all the shouts and commotion it did however seem that the KSB came to the event, weapons at the ready. Maybe they suspected Zeek was being held there, maybe they just came to beat on Céleste or Locke more, either way it became heated and violent really quickly. Now, perhaps reader, you can see why she had injuries to the extent of the medical report above.

An anonymous source at the party identified that Landon Fyre was instrumental in saving Céleste’s life and stabilising her before EMT could take her to hospital. Even with these brave actions, she still had to be shocked back to life in Hospital.

Anon: “Céleste almost did die, it was Lt. Landon Fyre’s intervention that saved her…”

All thanks to to the HPD Lt. there then, and with the woman of the event now nearly dead in hospital our story would (and should) perhaps end, but this is Hathian, the cycle… continues until we’re all dust and it is only the very few who manage to break away, yet like Ryder, they keep coming back to play, one more time, hoping this time, it’ll be different.

For more pictures from the event, see the following taking by John Childermass here.

Blinded and Maimed. Not Down and Out.

Sometimes it’s important to think about the consequences of violence and for me, as someone who lives and loves and tries not to hurt (or be hurt) I still find physical, emotional or other forms of abuse hard to see and hard to watch. Taking the liberty of visiting HGH, I wanted to see what had happened to Céleste as while I’d hear some of the things I wrote about, the real extent of her injuries was in no way apparent until I got the records and met her in hospital.

Céleste in HGH with her boyfriend (and HPD member) Locke de Rolo

I visited and managed to interview the couple to hear their side of the story and even if you do think Céleste is somehow at fault here, I would hope you join with me to wish her a speedy recovery… although blindness and a metal plate in her head… she is not going to be the same woman for quite some time.

Daiyu: “Why’d you mess around with the Bones Céleste? I mean, they’re serious business and you dress one up and stick ginger up his butt? What do you think was going to happen?”

Céleste: “The Bones? Look, that asshole hung me off a bridge. Whatever happened after, I don’t recall right now. Whatever I did was well deserved.”

The anger, raw anger in her voice was undeniable but she couldn’t see and this vulnerability also came through.

Locke: “She just wanted a funny prank to get back at the man who attempted to murder her by throwing her off a bridge with a noose around her neck and leaving her. That was after robbing her and knocking her unconscious. I hardly think that classifies as fucking around with the Bones so much as getting a little tit for tat from Zeek. He robbed and tried to murder her, then came to the funeral home the day before opening to fuck with her more, so she drugged him and decided he was going to be a fun prop.”

Reader, is your idea of fun (after being nearly murderer and robbed) drugging your nemesis and sticking him a casket? If you answer yes, just… just see someone.

Locke: “She dressed him in drag and gave him a butt plug of ginger, I guess. Or he did it himself. Not my place to question what perversions he has with sex. He probably told his crew he was going to go fuck with her. Why else would they come to the opening, knives and clubs out?”

Daiyu: “I get that hurting bad people may be fun or may feel good, but what if pretty boy here gets hurt?”

I had assumed that Céleste wore the trousers in this relationship, considering all the thing she appeared to be responsible for in the plot and while she was down now, I had not wanted to give her her dues; getting Zeek in a coffin required serious work surely. But I guess I had underestimated her boyfriend as well. As an HPD officer, he hadn’t come to my attention that much (despite being a fairly pretty boy!) and although if I think back I did remember he had been accused of some bad things, it was never enough to have someone knocking at my door with photos or accusations to publish.

Locke: “I was watching everyone and she got attacked by the Bones skanks, who were chomping at the bit to gang on her before they even knew Zeek was playing Barbie in the coffin. That’s it.”

I didn’t want to overstay my welcome, so wishing Céleste a speedy recovery I left.

A Final Word About Cox

Circulating across the Columtreal Campus by Dean Cox, this potential meme seemed a fitting end to this story.

Can Zeek truly be blamed in full? No.

Can he be justified? No.

Can Céleste, who we might remind you orchestrated an apparent attack on Zeek and his sister be seen as blameless? No.

Do either of them deserve to be hurt? No.

Will egos clash in Hathian? Oh yes.

Thus reader, I leave you hopefully a bit better informed about the crazy situation at the Funeral home and with a choice as to how to feel. If like me you end up confused on all accounts, then you are not alone.

Credit: Carly Cox

“How is Celeste doing btw? I’d love to send flowers…”

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