By Daiyu Lubezki
Photos by John Childermass / Daiyu / Others with credit
Readers, today we have an interview with a new business in Rougarou, the ‘Mourning Wood’ funeral home. Operated and owned by one Céleste de Sade (relation to the Marquis de Sade unconfirmed at this time) the funeral home replaces the gap left by the sudden closure of the the mortuary and funeral home operated by Delina Lubezki in Black Bottom.
Daiyu Lubezki, our editor, along with John Childermass (ace photographer) was sent to look over this new business and having worked with Delina, Daiyu was interested to see how others might operate, advertise and fit-out such a business.
Before any business review, we do do some groundwork here at the Observer on the owner. This not only allows us to ask the somewhat better focused questions, but can also help increase your understanding as a reader of the Observer.
So, prior to meeting with Céleste, what did our Observer team find out… well firstly she has a Twitter account, so for those interested in an interesting mix of content should check it out and it’s from here we culled our rather (in our view) NSFW picture below. Noting that we think it’s NSFW, the actual photo was taken in the HGH (Hathian General Hospital) and shows Céleste with her co-workers, Bella/Della and Zairah who clearly think that this photo is ‘safe for work’. An interesting a lively discussion ensured on Twitter, but for now because Céleste does come across (as perhaps fits a funeral home owner) a little more austere in our interview, it’s a different facet you can take a look at (a long look?).
Our team also wrote recently about the ‘House of Morningstar”, where as part of the article our reporter had come across a potentially drugged Céleste shouting ‘Hail Satan’ outside the Hathian PD. If you’ve not read that article, you can take a look here. It is somewhat relevant as during our tour of the Funeral Home we did see some Morningstar leaflets lying around. So Reader, just as you should be aware that the Butcher’s Shop is King Street territory or that Rader Records is connected to the Rejects, perhaps it might be the case that Mourning Wood is Morningstar related. Maybe that interests you? Hail Satan and all that. Anyway, onto our meeting.
Mourning Wood
Driving up to the building, it is an eclectic mix of styles. Part modern, part neo-gothic and part Hathian it doesn’t loom over surrounding areas, but it does stand out, being mostly dark stone, or in part black modern marble or tiles. It sits among the green and brown foliage of Rougarou and is quite visible coming down the bridge from Vodou and Hathian proper. Outside sits a funeral carriage for presumably a horse drawn procession if someone so desires.
“You Stab’um We Slab’um” does seem a rather… blunt logo. Sure, Hathian isn’t known for that many old age peaceful deaths, but still, if you were a family member looking into a plan, is this really the logo for you? Answers on a postcard readers.
Around the plot, nothing that much to note. The neighbours to this funeral home are a clinic. It’s rather morbid that you can go from the little Rougarou clinic to your slab within twenty paces, but I guess it’s no different than HGH or similar.
Céleste de Sade
Greeting us initially in tasteful lingerie which looked remarkably like the washed version of the bra she was wearing in the gory HGH photograph above, Ms. de Sade cut an imposing figure. We’ve photographed her before at the HGH reopening, but this is the first time that I’ve had any real interaction with her.
Céleste: “Welcome Daiyu and John! I am Cèleste de Sade, owner of Mourning Wood Funeral Home. I have met you before John! You took my picture at the hospital. I am also a medical examiner there. So what I’m planning is that I want to show you around and introduce you and your readers to the Funeral Home. It has been a labour of love.”
Daiyu: “Thank you for the warm introduction, I must say it’s nice to meet the owner in person on these trips, sometimes we do them with just general staff…. so lets get the elephant in the room out of the way…. why Mourning Wood?”
Céleste: “Oh, no… that is not good business practice, in my opinion. Owners should be hands on with their business’ image. I work very hard to cultivate a positive image here at Mourning Wood… and my own. Well, if I am honest as to the origin of the Funeral Home name… I found it online. Funnily enough, I was looking for Funeral Homes in the area and found an article from the Observer about a Mourning Wood Funeral Home opening in 2011. I also found another article saying the owner, Khloe Glamour, was violently killed in front of her own funeral home, turned into a dismembered human garden of some sort. Since the owner was dead and the business name was available, I felt I could at least carry the name forward for Khloe. Seems she was a… lively spirit… in the same way I am.”
We found these articles Céleste was referring to in our archives. This included both the opening, a job advertisement and an article about the woman’s death (which is not for the faint hearted).
When we asked if we could take photos, a little bit of the smoothness vanished. It was rather interesting that bloody lingerie was appropriate at HGH, but not at the funeral home (and it wasn’t even bloody this time!).
“If you guys publish a *cking picture of me like this, you will both end up in my crematory!”
Céleste de Sade
Daiyu: “Well, that’s quite a backstory, I will have to look into that…. I’ve seen you have a crematorium as well? The full works? Lab? Mortuary and the rest? So, ok… let’s step back a bit further, why a funeral home? In my experience it attracts a few sorts… so what sort are you?”
Céleste: “Yes, we have the full works. Funeral, Mortuary, and Crematory and I am the death sort! I grew up in love with death and everything about it. My fascination with it was all-consuming and I knew I had to dedicate my life to it. What better way to serve humanity than to assist in the preparation of death via a Funeral Home? It’s the one event we are all guaranteed in life.”
Daiyu: “I see… so maybe tell me a bit more about your fascination with death then? You seem plenty alive to me, so you’ve not gone quite as far as you could…. is it interest in the other side, is it religion, is it the process of death and the 9 1/2 grammes of soul?”
Céleste: “Ah, so you are familiar, it seems? Not many know the scientific experiments done to that regard. My particular fascination is with the body itself. One moment a person is fully conscious, and the next… they lay limp without a care in the world. I am not so much worried about the soul. As you can see in this room I have quite a collection of skeletons. Humans who once were. It is intriguing… and also why I am a mortician. Death is guaranteed. Come and see the viewing room?”
We continued on our tour of the funeral home, taking in coffins, the viewing room and some of the almost ‘exhibits’ that Céleste had around the place. It was certainly going to be an interest experience for anyone looking for a funeral plan or arranging a loved one’s remembrance.
Daiyu: “So what kind of services and plans can you offer?”
Céleste: “Well, we offer funeral pre-planning, where you can come in and check out our selection of caskets, coffins, and urns. We can talk and plan the funeral of your dreams, which I do offer very affordable monthly payments. We offer on site cremation, which also helps manage the price for the customer. We can go see the embalming room?”
We toured the embalming room and the crematory, noting that the majority of the place was clean and properly arranged (in my view). It was a place of little cheer down below, sterile, a few cobwebs, perhaps because the business hadn’t had that many ‘full service’ customers. Céleste stood out in her red thigh slit dress and I found myself wondering whether the business of death was the debits and credits of funeral plans and coffin sales, or perhaps something more. Certainly Céleste seemed to be rather passionate about it, but among cries of ‘Hail Satan’ and the Morningstar literature around, I did rather worry that there was a hidden side to her, but that’s the same as most in Hathian isn’t it?
Daiyu: “Great, ok Céleste, I think that about covers it! I’ve got good photos so maybe you can have a think if there’s anything I’ve missed and drop me an e-mail if you want to add anything… It’s good to see more civic services, although I will add the obvious that I hope the death you see here is old age and peaceful lives…”
I saw another door and made a mistake of attempting to go that way instead of back to the lift.
“Hey, Hey, Get the fuck back from there!”
Céleste
Apparently, it was the chemical storage room. Céleste looked rather upset that my hand had even touched the door. I kinda figured there would be a big pentagram on the other side with some ‘hail Satan’ posters. Each to their own I guess.
That concludes our tour of the Mourning Wood funeral home, although I did receive a text later from Céleste about the Grand Opening Event.
Opening Event
“The grand opening is December 9th from 12pm – 2pm SLT. Rougarou is the address. The business is already open to the public, just with the holidays we will celebrate the grand opening later.”
More pictures taken by John can be viewed here.
