By Carly Cox
Welcome to the seventh edition of the “Ask Carly” Column here at the Observer.
As fitting as it would be to talk about my interpretation of the seven deadly sins for edition #7, I have far more than that, in my bible of sluthood! So today I will introduce the 10 commandments I live my life by. Without further ado, let the teachings begin!
((Editor’s note – the website edition is censored, unless users click a picture, at which point all of Carly (or friends) is shown.))
- The three W’s
As some might have guessed already, I have been diagnosed with something called “Hypersexual Disorder” which is the opposite of “Hyposexual Disorder” or perhaps being called “Asexual” as it is also known. Hypersexual disorder, is when you are on the far active side of thinking about and engaging in sexual activities. In olden times this was known as “Nymphomania” and is basically a person with a far greater libido than the average.
Therefore, the first commandment, is the 3 W’s, which stands for ‘who, where, whenever‘. Weaved into a sentence, that is ‘Fuck who you want, when you want, wherever you want’,
Slut, whore, homewrecker, adulterer, cunt – I have been called many names while I have been sexually active, and by a rough estimate, have likely had over 200 inside of me while I have lived in Hathian. This is about my needs, not everyone else’s, and I will have the amount of sex I want, with who I want, and where I want. And so should you! (Just don’t do it at Spanky’s, I hear Landon Fyre frequents that place, and picked up a bartender named Zofia there not long ago, and made her vegan, I got proof as well) (Libel writs to Carly – Ed)
- Wear What You Want
Its all about being attractive. If you are like one of those radical feminists that dresses like a nun, you may as well stop reading now. Just like actual nuns, you will only ever have sex with God alone in your pathetic dormitory. Are you however an actual free thinking woman? Then start putting your curves on display. I often wear tiny revealing shorts that accentuates my ass, a tight fitting top that captivates the shape of my fake double D’s, and often one of these things is completely missing altogether, flashing anybody that looks at me. If people don’t want to grab you, or get an erection merely looking at you, it’s going to be hard wheeling in your sexual partners. So dress accordingly.
- Learn to Flirt
Imagine you are ready to get it on at Lou’s, you are dressed like a cheap skank straight out of Laveau and wondering what to do next. This is time for the act of slutty seduction.
Go order a drink, lean your forearms on the counter top, and arch your back. If you got great tits like I do, they will get pushed forward to rest on your forearms, while your back will form a perfect arch ending at your tight ass. Make sure you do this on the middle of the counter so everyone can see you. Once someone notices you and send you an approving nod or smile, bite your lower lips hard and tug some strands of hair behind an ear. You are now communicating to him that you are not only not minding that he is looking at you, but you are interested in him and have naughty thoughts on your mind.
- Initiate Sex
You have him in your sights now, you have established a mutual interest, and now you will not make the same mistake as most women, and think you are special enough that he will come to you. No, you will be the predator in this scenario, as you want to have sex tonight. Slowly push off of the counter, and move towards him, sway your hips to make him want to breed you. Once in his personal space, grab his junk or simply ask “Wanna fuck?”. If you don’t have his dick in your throat out back in less than 3 minutes, you need to practice on the previous 3 commandments some more.
- Know The Best Sex Positions
As a true slut, you will mostly be using two primary positions. On your knees, or on all fours, having surrendered the control to him in both. This is however no reason to get complacent and think you don’t need to have expert knowledge in sexual positions, as the aforementioned positions can also be considered too vanilla for a lot of Hathian bred guys. You need to know every sex position that he does, and then some. You want to show him, that you are the fuck of his lifetime, even if you never see him again. So go onto Pornhub and start studying positions, and then practice them. You need a fit body to engage in several of them, the same fit body that made you wheel them in, in the first place. I’d suggest speaking to Eleri at the Fit Box, to get you in shape, if you aren’t already. If you are the greatest he ever had, he will tell his friends, and you have more options in the future when they want some as well.
If you know lots of various sex techniques and positions, you can drive all the slut-loving men crazy. It’s up to you however who you share your knowledge with.
- Give A Lot Of Blowjobs
A successful slut is a blowjob master. She will know all the best techniques and skills such as the ‘Tongue Squeeze’ and the ‘The Handyman’ and the ‘Sucker’. This can be achieved through years of trial and error. But if you’d prefer to learn quickly, then you’ll find everything you need to know in this article, where I teach you exactly what to do to make his back arch with pleasure.
- Have public sex
Personally, I absolutely get off on public sex. There are two kinds here. Having sex in a public place with the chance of getting caught, and the kind where you deliberately want other people watching you. I fall into the latter category, and it makes me even hotter, if I can see them judging me, or even when they trashtalk me while I have sex. I also like to display my mastery sex skills to ensure others want a taste later on.
More importantly, it will give you a reputation as being easy, which is what you want, since it will offer you more opportunities for sex in the future. The degradation and humiliation of judgment, is just an added bonus.
- Sleep With As Many Guys As You Want
I used to tell women who wanted to be slutty that they should sleep with at least two guys a week, but I no longer do this. Why? Because some sluts have numerical goals while others simply want to have as much sex as possible, and that completely depends on being in the mood, having the time, meeting guys, or even whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert.
If you want to set a goal such as sleeping with two (or more) guys a week, go for it. But if you find it difficult or too frustrating to achieve, don’t sweat it. Instead, just try to have as much sex as you want.
- Use Technology to Hook Up
You don’t have to hit up a bar or party to find someone to sleep with if you don’t want to. Thanks to the advent of the smart phone, how we meet partners has forever changed. Thanks to apps such as Tinder and our local Cupids, it’s never been easier to find someone to hook up with. Sluts around the world (and introverts) rejoice!
Are you an avid social media user? The next notch in your bedpost might already be on your Facebook/Snapchat/Twitter friends list. Don’t be afraid to get creative! Besides, it can be fun fucking the friends of your friends, behind their backs, and then watch them all have an awkward moment when they find out they have all been inside of you. (You also won’t get a better success rate at suggesting a gangbang than this moment)
- Make A Sex Tape & Upload it
Sometimes sex is so good you have to make a visual copy of it for posterity. Sometimes it can be a thrilling fantasy to pretend to be a famous pornstar. Either way, making a sex tape with someone can be a pretty slutty act. People such as Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian who have made sex tapes are considered slutty because of it. Both tapes have been watched hundreds of millions of times by guys all over the world also. That shows you how much guys secretly love sluts. Like they did, you can opt to have it “stolen” which is you denying having distributed it yourself. I’d just send it to all my friends, and have them send it to all of theirs, and soon you will indeed be a famous amateur pornstar.
- Embrace your nature! (Bonus commandment)
As you have seen throughout this article, I am pretty open about who I am and what I like. I have embraced my nature, and that is not to say I wouldn’t go monogamous for the right guy (because yeah, there’s a few of them in Hathian right now) but until that time, I am having fun. On one side, I am a strong independent woman in control of my life, and on the other, I am an extreme submissive slut that is sexually attracted to acts of misogynistic abuse.
In order to truly live as you see fit, you must first accept who you are, and if that happens to be a slut, you now have an idea of how to progress towards ultimate sluthood. It is not for everyone, but believe it or not, I am quite happy with my lifestyle.
And that was todays edition of the Ask Carly Column. If you have a dilemma preventing you from living your life to the fullest extent, don’t hesitate to write me at as[email protected] (( IM Carly Cox (Calanthral Falodir) ))
Until next time!
The views in this article do not represent the views of the Observer or our staff and are attributable to C.Cox and her overactive… drives. – Ed