By Carly Cox
Welcome to the third edition of the ‘Ask Carly’ column here at The Observer. Shortly after the second edition was published, I received following ‘flowery’ letter:
Dear Little B,
Thank you for your kind words. To give honest advice is why I am here. That and leaving the world in a better place than I found it. I’m not just an experienced slut, but I have also never been cheated on, and I’ll explain the simple solution now.
Try spreading your legs once in a while, and stop being a prude. When a guy gets with a cheerleader, there’s pornhub fuelled expectations, which you clearly don’t meet, and that is without a doubt why your boyfriends keep straying from the path. It is also clear to me from your statement, that your milkshake already brings all the boys to the yard, so there’s plenty of opportunities to fix your predicament.
It’s like my grandpa always said “You get further with saying “I love you” and then giving sloppy head, than you do with just saying “I love you”. (You could also try kissing a girl – you might like it. – Ed)
With love, Carly.
And that was todays edition of the Ask Carly Column. If you have a dilemma preventing you from living your life to the fullest extent, don’t hesitate to write me at [email protected] (( IM Carly Cox (Calanthral Falodir) ))
Until next time, (Until Little B’s next boyfriend falls down stairs – Ed)