Ask Carly: A blowjob is more than just sucking D…

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By Carly Cox

Welcome to the fourth edition of the ‘Ask Carly’ Column. Today is going to be a little different as we are going to be diving head first (You got me – Ed) into the science behind giving head, because as the title suggests, a blowjob is much more than just having a dick in your mouth. I hope this article also has the side bonus of teaching a woman how to keep a man interested. (Men are quite shallow appears to be an underlying moral here – Ed)

Why should I even care?

Now, if you are some kind of radical feminist, you may be thinking along the lines of ‘Why should I read an article about something that reinforces the patriarchy that has dominated society for the past five hundred years?’ And that my friend, is the kind of thinking that explains why you are still single and why all the men in your life would rather go to Spanky’s and have sex with chicks with dicks, than spending another minute with you. Besides, you are probably vegan too and can’t cook to save your life, but I’ll address that in the future article.

For the rest of you that has read this far, this is the article that will teach you to give a mindblowing, toe curling, dick owning, ball draining, cock worshiping like-your-life-depended-on-it blowjob that leaves your man twitching, drooling and completely satisfied. Because yes, this is not about you, but about your man, or to gather the interest of a man and retain it long enough for him to put a ring on your finger and support you.

The Basics

Most women knows that dicks come in all shapes and sizes, some are black and exciting, some are white and dull, hell some even tastes better with ketchup. All in all however, they work exactly the same. To demonstrate this, detailed picture:

As you can see on the dick anatomy demonstration, the tip is where you want to focus the attention of the tongue, as that’s the sensitive part, and the rest just needs to be taken into your mouth and throat, and then you are good to go. Who said science was hard?

Make it all about him

The setting is extremely important. Don’t debut these skills in a 5 minute pre-work blowjob or during a drunken hook-up. Sit him down where he’s most comfortable. Pour him some wine or grab him a beer (or two, you may be busy for awhile.) Have a warm washcloth nearby for when you finish to clean your spit off of his cock and balls. Pull his pants down and off, make sure he is completely comfortable. You may even want to begin with a foot massage. It won’t be long before his cock is stiff from anticipation. You’ll know when it’s time to move to the main course.

The Act

Remember that this is all about him. All the practice means nothing if you deepthroat him at the wrong time and can’t tell when he needs that extra twirl of your tongue. If he wants to control the pace, concede it to him. Wait with your lips fastened around the top of his shaft and invite him to place his hands on the back of your head to guide you down his cock. Put your hands behind your back or on his thighs if you’re not using them. Put your whole body into the blowjob, lean forward, onto the point of your knees with your ankles and calves off the ground. Work him over from the bottom of your spine all the way to the tip of your mouth. Take it out of your mouth and kiss it, rub it on your face. But don’t show off, the moment he looks to be anything short of fascinated by your behaviour, plop it right back in your mouth. The best way to show your adoration is always almost always to dutifully suck away at him.

The Finish

Now this is the most interesting part, as it can happen in many ways, but what is most important? When he’s ready to cum, your job will be dictated to you, either by actions or words. This is the most important part, you want to leave the perfect lasting impression. If his hips aren’t buckling against your face at this point, you have done something wrong, or you are one of those radical feminists that will never see him again.

I personally prefer getting jizzed on my face from various angles true Yuugen style (Thanks Mu & Akuma)

And that was todays edition of the Ask Carly Column. If you have a dilemma preventing you from living your life to the fullest extent, don’t hesitate to write me at [email protected] (( IM Carly Cox (Calanthral Falodir) ))

Until next time!

(The views in this article really don’t conform with those of the editor, (who would not meet the definition of radical feminist and *can* deepthroat), but instead believes that giving head is part of a healthy two-way relationship; not one designed to reinforce subservience to men’s wishes in order to ‘put a ring on it’. Stanley though wishes to know that he however likes the sound of this advice and ordered the columnist to be given a tip. Yeah, just the tip. Sure Boss.)

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