Ask Carly: “Just screw on your balls and go fuck her”

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By Carly Cox (C. Cox will never get old – Ed)

Welcome to the second edition of the ‘Ask Carly’ column here at The Observer.

I have received a letter with a dilemma from an active reader who is in need of some relationship advice. Boy did he reach out to just the right person, as I am highly skilled in the arts of relationship advice!

Without further ado, here’s the readers letter, followed by my reply:



Dear Homer,

Well, I have been in a similar position not long ago, so I have quite a bit of personal experience in a situation like this. Now first off, let me assure you, that you are not emotionally dead, as being horny and wanting to fuck your ex, is also an emotion, which disproves your thesis. Additionally, make no mistake; all partners are wildly incompatible. Most just don’t know it or want to admit it. Why do you think there’s clubs like Spanky’s out there? Because often wives aren’t being told how much of a pervert their husbands really are and how they would rather fuck some chick with a dick than tell their wives to wear a strap-on!

Secondly, it sounds like you are both wildly attracted to each other still, which is the basis of any working relationship not involving Spanky’s and chicks with dicks. In my experience, relationships with intense passion are often the best kind. Like the situation I briefly mentioned with my ex and the father of my kid! Whew… It all started when I sucked his dick in the stairwell of the Chartbusters store, then he fucked me on the couch upstairs, then on the counter in the shop… hell, that store should be called Ballbusters by the amount of nutting he did inside of me, and just thinking about it makes me all hot…. Anyways, I’m back at the keyboard again, as I got all flustered there for a moment and had to take care of something.

The most common reason that divorced people cite for the relationships failing apart is a failing sex life. Ergo, the logical conclusion must be that as long as the sex is great, nothing else matters!

C. Cox

Its pretty clear to me that you need to just screw on your balls and go fuck her, then come back a few days later and fuck her some more. Alternatively, I have heard many parents who are having a hard time, want to have more kids as those seem to bring people back together – and the best thing about having kids, is that you need to fuck to get them in the first place!

With love, Carly!


And that was todays edition of the Ask Carly Column. If you have a dilemma preventing you from living your life to the fullest extent, don’t hesitate to write me at [email protected] (( IM Carly Cox (Calanthral Falodir) ))

Until next time!

The Observer Editorial team note that this advice is provided in C. Cox’s personal capacity and the views and opinions are entirely her own. – Ed.

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