Readers, I don’t know about you, but I really don’t like clowns. Whether it’s the ‘attempt to be cute’ kind, or whether it’s like, our Citizen Profile today, a clown that looks designed to scare, the painted faces, the long shoes and all the rest is somewhat terrifying.
Coulrophobia; the fear of clowns. If you don’t believe me, you can check the dictionary here.
Anyway, I was approached by a reader who wanted to do a ‘Citizens of Hathian’ profile, a feature article we do sometimes at the Observer to spotlight citizens who think they’ve got a talent or otherwise want to get their name and story out to Hathian. The citizen mentioned they had news about a circus and wanted to share it with Hathian.
Oh how I regret having an open door interview policy sometimes…
Meeting with ‘Mr Bob’
I arranged to meet the initially unknown reader at the under refurbishment Hathian Museum & Galleries, which (as I am involved with it and had tradespeople crawling all over it) was an attempt at feeling safe and controlling the interview.
You can’t feel safe around clowns. Especially someone who has taken what appears to the the world’s nastiest Halloween Costume, sent it to Alice Crow for advice and then not washed it for a few days. Christ.
Our interview started with some menace, but when it got into the details it became apparent that underneath the costume (which he didn’t admit was one) was someone relatively articulate and with some big ideas.
“You may call me Mr. Bob… Yes, Mr. Bob it is! And you are? First, are you legal even? Or are you just short?”
Mr ‘Bob’
Can I just say for the record, that I am not short. Many citizens in Hathian appear to be unwittingly on Gein growth hormone stuffed burgers and become gigantically tall (at least the growth sometimes effects all areas…)
Observer: “So, ‘Bob’, can you tell me what you want the Citizens of Hathian to know? You’re clearly rather uniquely dressed, may I take it that you are going to offer us a circus show?”
‘Bob’: “Have you noticed Hathian’s been so quiet lately? Hmmm?! IT MAKES ME SICK! But… no more! Circus is back in town! Uncle Bob believed everyone had a place in the society, everyone does! Uncle Bob defended the beauty of things! Be it a painting or a gruesome murder!”
Observer: “Uncle Bob? So.. sorry, let’s try and get this organised; What circus, where is the circus, are you advertising in effect? A painting or a murder… umm…. how did Uncle Bob defend it? In a business right?”
‘Bob’: “Right! So… I have no idea how long you been in town, but years ago, in another town, there was a group… Originally from Uncle Bob, my mentor. As far as I know, he is dead! But… I am planning on continuing his legacy! Have you ever thought of hurting someone bad, just for the fun of it?”
It was going to be one of those interviews…
Observer: “I’ve been here for 18 months Mr.Bob, I’ve covered some pretty bad stuff… What was his legacy? Entertainment? Danger? I think you’ll find if it’s the latter, you might… be competing with Ain, Lucas and the Hopper family… And no, not seriously… I don’t think people deserve to be hurt, not my place to judge…”
‘Bob’: “People don’t deserve to be hurt? Just imagine going to… let’s say The Vudu Shop, ask for some way to get to conversation you think is gone, and ending up drugged, in some sort of coma for about a week! What does that person who drugged you deserves, if not pain?! Not even saying death, cause death would be too good! But plain death, torture, limb tearing! But… right! Back to Circus Maximus! Circus Maximus was a group born from the marriage of the Dead Rabbits and the Static Bandits, Circus Maximus represented a group of criminals hellbent on making their city a playground. Crime and misdeeds were to be ever the order of the day. Nothing beats the fun of hurting others for fun I tell you! By the way, ask Alice Crow… she will know Uncle Bob maybe…”
Observer: “So, ok… can you just concisely tell me what you’re looking for, what is it you hope to gain by getting your name, face (sort-of) and history out into Hathian?”
‘Bob’: “Well it’s nothing official yet, but I been doing my job! Gathering the best of the best, if you prefer le crème de la crème! Misfits, hookers, rejects, lunatics with little or nothing to lose! All will be welcome, and all will have their place in Hathian with me, I can assure you that! Maybe even some alliance with… let’s say… the Hoppers! I liked them!”
At this point, with a little more ‘pleasantries’ I brought the interview to an end and surprisingly hadn’t been hurt or wet myself. Happy Days right readers? I guess for those interested in… this kind of thing they could contact Bob? But otherwise, perhaps it’s sensible to say if you see a rotting clown approach, it may not be for laughs.
((Contact Nelson (nelson.sixpence) to find out more))
Our Research
I do like research readers, so spent some time on clowns… The Observer archives on circuses spiked in 2022 when on Twitter, a new Hathian Circus account was created. However, while some records exist, there doesn’t appear to be a link to a Bob (or an Uncle Bob) there. You can check out that old Twitter here if you wish… Before that in 2021, clowns we reported around, with some suggestion that they were working with the local Hoppers. This is somewhat interesting as Bob suggested the same above, but with no photos and not much crime reporting we found, it’s hard to be sure. Finally in 2020 a clown was found burned to death after a string of incidents involving baby trafficking. The costume is remarkably similar, but with this clown dead, there is surely no link; except for a Halloween store making a large buck from these creepy costumes!
Before that, there’s quite a gap. In 2013, the circus was reported in town, but the wholesome images there of someone called Jubilee, don’t link with Bob here…
Prior to this it gets murky, rumours from another city, sometimes called ‘Dead End’, rumours of disturbing things and an ‘Uncle Bob’… someone who inspired fear. As the Observer’s editor, and a self-confessed book lover, I do like a bit of research and well, without any help from the new ‘Bob’… we’ve done a bit of digging.
- The Old Uncle Bob had a Twitter… it’s been dark since 2015 and based on what we’ve researched; memento mori
- Our research into two former groups, Circus Flaminius and Circus Maximus show a history not unlike Hathian in terms of groups, businesses and darkness
- Our research shows that the original Circus Maximus, a group itself comprised of two older groups about which very little could be researched (Dead Rabbits and Static Bandits) disbanded on the death of what we in Hathian understand was their former leader ‘Uncle Bob’
- Circus Flaminius then was formed sometime later, although it’s not clear who ran it from the time I had available to research. Perhaps our new ‘Bob’ was a member, who knows…
- With the Observer being a few reporters in our shitty office in Hathian, there is no chance for us to visit the other city and find out more sadly…
I think it’s fair to say, that if the new ‘Bob’ is anything like the old ‘Uncle Bob’ or in particular the Circus Maximus, then Hathian may have some problems…
((With thanks to Lucy for a picture or two, Bob for giving me some interesting research to do for two or three hours and as always all RPers who have made stories that carry on giving, sometimes ten years or more after they were written! As always, anyone who wishes a Citizen Profile can contact Dai IC. As you can see, who knows where she might take it!))
