On the weekend of the 15th and 16th of April, it was Spankycon! As advertised in our earlier article this was an event where for a period of two days various demonstrations of adult kink equipment was made available alongside a bar and other amusements for those who attended.
One of sights that met our ‘undercover’ reporter was that of well known Hathian citizen Valentia who although not having featured in this paper before has been seen both at the diner down by the coast as well as in the HPD newsfeed in relation to various arson attacks. Whether a scapegoat or as some hinted, linked to Groups who would rather remain nameless we’ll park for another time.
Today Valentia was attempting to ride the mechanical bull… dick… bull-dick? For readers with a good memory and Hathian Observer fans, you’ll remember our report at the BBQ Camden of the King Street Bones hosted back in May 2022 and if you find the article in our archives you can see one of his members, Onyx St. Diaz riding what might even be the same dick…
Well readers, today I can report that there is a new riding champion. Valentia managed to conquer the ride, or ride the dick (STOP IT -Ed.) for 25 minutes, dethroning Onyx and likely everyone else in Hathian who has attempted this feat.
Our reporter caught up with a slightly out-of-breath Valentia after her attempt for a winning quote:
“Texas Rides the Best! Yeeeee-hawwwww!”
Valentia to our reporter
When asked how she had managed to ride and answer the trivia questions, she smiled and seemed pretty pleased with the questions asked. Her winning question, on which state in America bans sex toys (Texas, Alabama or Georgia) had her stating:
“I knew it couldn’t be Texas because it was really easy to get a clit sucker with enough energy to really do the job, which by the by, I recommend to anyone and everyone!”
Valentia to our reporter
So there we have it, a new queen is crowned…
As we promised there were no unwanted photos or intrusions of privacy to the many guests who attended the convention.