Masked in Anonymity – Shelby ‘Cougar’ LeBlanc

Hungry for Man-Meat

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By: Maja – Gossip Contributor

Hello there dearest readers! Are-you-sitting-comfortably? No? Tough. I’m starting anyway.

Today’s story is a twofer! It is about a dear mystical woman, without a past, who has a flair for the occult and over-dramatic. Yes! Today’s article involves Miss LeBlanc-LeMaire-Thomas-Dune. As her Lord of the Rings style length name implies, her man-eater title is well justified. This woman gets through men like Daiyu gets through leather pants (Do you like this column? – Ed), or the Viper crew go through Naruto headbands!

So that does beg the question… Where are they? Seems like a simple question with a simple answer, “probably sniffing glue or eating paste”. There. Done. Dusted. All answered yes? No! In fact I rather believe that Shelby is involved in giving them a ‘new life’ as the woman is clearly VERY experienced on that (more on that later).

One look at Shelby’s backside will tell you one thing, the woman likes to EAT and eat a lot, something that likely stems from the fact Shelby loves to cook, commenting “Honestly, I’d do some nasty stuff for a good cheesecake.” Now this whole piece isn’t to just say that Shelby has a interest in cooking, no, no, no. That is already well known and established, as some of you may know her nickname as “that mystic Chef bitch”. However, a minor bit of viewing into Shelby’s personal life suggests that cooking is more an essential aspect of how the woman stays out of prison and under the radar.

Yes it’s come to this contributors’ attention that Shelby “Maneater” LeBlanc (wooooahhhhh here she comes) is actually killing and EATING her partners! When was the last time anyone saw Brad? Who supposedly died of Syphilis? Or instead of dying from STI, did he in fact suffer from a severe case of mastication? Shelby is a psychiatrist, one of the professions with the highest rates of mental issues… Is it so unbelievable that one day Shelby got Harley Quinned and found herself attracted to a lifestyle of murder and feasting?

We live in a city with Hoppers! SHELBY-LEBLANC-LEMAIRE-THOMAS-DUNE-HOPPER! This contributor can see it now, some poor Hathian man (possibly Shelby’s next victim) asking Shelby in the native Hathian mating call “what that thing be doing?” unaware that ‘that thing’ is nourished by the blood of her victims!

Now, here at MIA we do have a tendency to reveal that which is unwanted to be revealed, (Looking at you Emeric) while we leave the big news for my sister in the tight leathers. However, today I am going to need to apologise… I started writing this article when we became suspicious of Shelby eating people, which as any reporter should do meant I performed my due diligence and actually researched our subject and… Shelby isn’t real. I don’t mean that in the mystical, ‘none of us are real’ scenario, but in the way that before 10 years ago there is literally no trace of the woman.

That is right I am fully exposing the fact this woman’s past is completely hidden. You can check for yourselves at home, or ask the woman herself and watch how she squirms and twists because… Before 10 years ago there was no Shelby LeBlanc-LeMaire-Thomas-Dune-(Hopper?). The woman didn’t exist, no social media, no medical records, nada, not even an awkward high school photo of her in braces getting stuck on an MRI machine (However I did find the woman had started an “onlyfeet” account).

This bombshell revelation leads to multiple different questions. First of which being “Who is this woman really?” “Is her medical degree legitimate?” “Why did she only appear 10 years ago?” “What made her disappear” “Where was she before?” and finally and most importantly… “Why did she disappear?”

Its of this contributors’ opinion that these two topics can be tied together like a Chinese girl in Shibari rope… What could possibly of happened to make Shelby (if that is her REAL name) want to completely cut ties like this? Disappear from her friends, her family and her loved ones? Simple. She was on the run for murder of her partner. Perhaps it was a case of abuse, of self defence from years of assault from an uncaring partner that only wanted to see the woman bleed like a stuck pig. Perhaps it was an accident that she was unfairly blamed for or her lack of a past is linked to her current BFF relationship with well know cut throat bitch “Tori Tomato” (Let it never be said this paper is biased against Yuugen). Shelby’s past might be hidden for a nefarious purpose! Is she a Yuugen sleeper agent within the HGH? Is she a new mix of Hop-Gen?! Given her many scars, it wouldn’t be hard for the woman to of experienced some form of plastic surgery to hide her prior face (given the Yuugen connection and the woman’s hidden past it would not shock me if the woman behind the Shelby mask is called Lee Ming) While this contributor isn’t one to judge, it becomes increasingly clear that Shelby is on the run from MURDER. (Maja, Lee Ming sounds ‘funny’, but isn’t even a Japanese name. Final Warning – Ed!)

What else prompts someone to uproot their lives like this what sort of horrible crimes has this woman committed? I submit it to you dear and loyal reader that Shelby is on the run from her old life as a cannibal murderer of her partner(s), THAT is why there is no trace of her before 10 years, why the woman’s partners keep going missing, why the woman’s backside keeps growing, why the woman is so hostile towards police (Granted that could be due to the quality of cops in our city), and finally why the woman is content to hide away at the red light district.

Today I hope I’m leaving your eyes just a little clearer and teaching you to be a little more cautious about who you get your mystical advice from.

This is Maja once again signing off.

Editorial Note: The Hathian Observer while accepting of gossip as part of keeping Hathian entertained and potentially finding new stories wishes it to be noted that assumed cannibal murder making is a serious accusation and while Shelby-Hopper *could* be a real talking point, it could equally be the case that like most men in Hathian, they dip their wick and then, fuck off. Even a bountiful backside can’t always keep people around here. With respect to her carnal life, you can’t consent to being eaten, that’s been proven in court… So yes, Shelby being onto Husband number xxx might be suspicious, but let’s not judge her to double standards, pretty sure some guys have 10 kids round here! – Daiyu

((Maja is a player. Posted with OOC consent))

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