By: Zofia Lewandowska
I like to write positive articles like this one. As you may know, not long ago we wrote about the new bar and the unfortunate passing of a famous Hopper who we were lucky enough to interview and be the last ones to speak with. An interview with a world war hero. And again, it wasn’t my fault or Daiyu’s fault that he died. His heart just couldn’t take the interview. Yes, reporting is not only risky for reporters, but also for those we cover.
I visited the Hoppers bar and met Princess Dellybean. Yes, you heard right, she is the new Hathian princess, a real one, with a crown and a magic wand, and as you can see in the pictures, she is the most beautiful woman in Hathian and maybe in the whole of the USA.
I’m sure you want to know more about new princess so I share with you part of our interview…
Princess Dellybean: “I am Princess Dellybean and can do magic. I just choose not to cause Bella says then the trolls and ogres may find us, so I just am a Princess of you humans for now”
Zofia: “You’re the most beautiful princess I’ve ever known. Dellybean. Your Majesty. May I ask you a few questions? Our readers would like to know more about you. And I can promise you, our readers are mostly human”
Princess Dellybean: “Why of course you may, it’s about time I let the world know who I really am. I think Hathian deserves a princess such as myself and to bow to my commands and, Ming thinks she is but it’s really me that is more lovely don’t you think?”
Zofia: “That’s wonderful, Your Majesty. So you plan to rule all of Hathian? Sounds like a good change, personally I think our current mayor is kind of slow and spends money on some promotional videos instead of funding clinics and police. So you plan to replace him? And how hard it is to be princess? Do your subjects obey you? Did you get a lot of supports from locals?”
Princess Dellybean: “Ohh hum, they don’t know it yet but they will and the mayor will work for me. I am the Princess of Hopperville. They are always trying to look and stare at my amazing beauty when I walk by and would bow down, but a kiss on the hand is good enough, for now…. ohh they pay their tribute weekly”
Zofia: “That makes sense, you need someone like our mayor working for you. Maybe he can make a new promotional video with you, showing off all your beauty. So you expect your subjects to pay tribute to you every week? Isn’t it better to pay it annually as taxes? And what message would you send to your new potential subjects? Something important that you want them to read about?”
Princess Dellybean: “I think all of Hathian should become beautiful… maybe not as much as myself, that would be impossible but you know… makeovers and such and my twin Bella can video the transformation… LETS MAKE HATHIAN BEAUTIFUL and as for tribute, they can pay it weekly, monthly or yearly is fine with me… or work it off as pool boys and girls since with the mayor running the city there is wayyy to much unemployment”
It was a really long list and I was nervous about talking to such an interesting and powerful person and not give her a reason to send Hopper soldiers after us…
Zofia: “It is your full right, Your Majesty, to demand anything from your subjects and to paint the city any color you want! I have one last question. Our readers would like to know what you like, what you love, what your hobbies are and what you hate?”
Princess Dellybean: “I do love to dance and sing. I am still looking for a husband, but I think I have found my Knight in Shinning Armor.. the most handsome man in the land, I am gonna marry him you know. We will start taking wedding gifts soon and ummm.. I love long walks on the beach and holding hands. I hate ugle.. dont do it”
Zofia: “Oh. That’s wonderful, Your Majesty. So the royal family of Hathian will have a wedding? May I ask what the lucky man’s name is?”
Princess Dellybean: “No name yet, but soon as he puts a ring on it..or he signs the love paper for being married I promise you will be the first to know… I can’t wait, I will feed him cupcakes and candy all day.. fatten him up so nicely!”
Zofia: “You have great plans Your majesty. Thank you for your time and all your answers. I will now go if you agree and work hard on the article.”
Princess Dellybean: “You will have good blessings this day my loyal subject to write the most goodest article ever.. well of course it is featuring me your Princess. You are dismissed”
After the interview, I left the bar and went to our office to finish working on the article. It was nice to meet someone who is definitely not an ordinary citizen. The Observer informs you clearly and without censorship, so read it and understand it in your own way and use your senses and wisdom to process all the information correctly.
For those who are lazy to read the whole article, here is a summary
- Hathian has a new leader, it is Princess Dellybean, the mayor stays in office as her second grade clerk
- You must all pay tribute to Princess Dellybean or work as pool girl or boys or you will be arrested
- You are expected to bow to the Princess and address her as Your Majesty
- Hathian will be beautiful again – LETS MAKE HATHIAN BEAUTIFUL
- Hathian will have soon royal wedding
- Don’t interview old lecherous Hoppers -Ed
((For better understanding, OOC explanation. Zofia and Daiyu got themselves into an unfortunate situation as mentioned in previous article about Hoppers and dead of grandpa Hopper and had to promise to write the article or they might get to very serious troubles by Hoppers. Hathian needs a bit of fun!))
