Readers, as mentioned in our last match report it’s time for an interview with one of the star players of the Columtreal team, Rachel Wesson.
Rachel as some of you will know is not a student at CU and a volleyball player, but she also owns a business on campus, ‘Witch Way Alley’ and in this interview we will find out a little more about her.
Give Us Everything
Observer: “Right boss lady, but today ‘trembling interview supplicant’, can you perhaps start by giving me a little bit of a background? You know… name… age… CU history and major, favourite sexual position… All the things that the great and good of CU would want to know!”
It should be understood reader that ‘technically’ Rachel is my boss for a part time job I have at Witch Way Alley. In the interests of full disclosure I’m quite willing to smack her around a bit, so don’t worry no favours or fawning interview here!
Rachel ‘Rage’ Wesson: “Here we go again with the boss lady, So here we are.. interview, huh. Pardon? Favourite sexual position? What does that have to do with Volleyball? Uhh anyway, my name is Rachel Wesson, age is nineteen.. will be twenty on the twenty ninth of this month. As for my CU history, not much to tell, I like to keep under the radar and not draw attention to myself. I was majoring in Medical to be a Mortician, Delina Lubezki was looking for an assistant… but well that sort of fell through so now my Major is in… hmm I guess business?”
Sadly Delina was again arrested by the Feds outside of Hathian proper and has not been seen again since.
Observer: “Well, maybe it doesn’t have anything to do with Volleyball, although then again part of Volleyball, even with your new and more appropriate uniforms, surely is just a little bit of sex appeal for the fans… and don’t give me any shit about that, I’ve watched your YouTube series of panties and bra shots! Ok, so a business major? Like what kinda business… what do you want to do in the future, what can our readers take away about the ambitious spiker of the Ball Busters? You’ve busted a few noses I hear, or perhaps exaggerate, so… give our readers something to go with that…”
Name, Age… Noses Busted?
Rage: “Ok, let me tell you a little more… I was born in Salem Massachusetts, and I found my childhood intriguing. I got to learn a lot about guns and knives since my family is part of the Smith and Wesson Gun Company. I am an heiress in a way. Growing up in Salem was fun, I enjoyed all the spooky creepy things it had to offer. I went to Salem University, had a 4.0 GPA until the incident that got me kicked out of College and sent here to Columtreal University.”
“You can say my family sells death, in firearms and knives. I do love a good knife”
Rage
Rage: “As for the business, well what can I say. I own Witch Way Alley, and I own my own cabin here in Columtreal, I like to travel upstate to the estate from time to time. It was lovely this winter with all the snow… Yes I have busted noses and even got disqualified from the beach tournaments when Morgan City decided to get mouthy and provoke my team mate. Sure we beat up some of the fans and the other team… and Morgan City Police took us away in cuffs. But they got what they deserved, we are here to play Volleyball and not take shit from the other team fans. Our team… THEE Team has a lot of good players and the girls are always there for one another.”
Observer: “4.0… high achieving… Incident that got you kicked out? Maybe we’ll let the fans come up with their own interpretations… punching the dean… oh… how about punching the dean in a graveyard… OR Punching the dean in the graveyard after having sex! Anyway, a cabin and WWA… And yes, Maya is very all for one and one for all kinda thing… so tell me WHY volleyball… what gets you on that rather than something else?”
Working at WWA is great, so anyone interested in the occult side of Campus should surely visit, the store is next to Murphy’s pub and near Aurora.
Cemetery Sex
Rage: “Actually.. Sex in the cemetery I don’t think I could do that.. not with all the ghosts watching and talking. It would be embarrassing, I tried it once… but to be called a whoring harlot by some old woman dressed in the 1600’s was not my idea of romance. I mean the goth girl I was with at the time loved it but she was into a lot of things… I.. sort of beat up the Salem Cheerleader Squad. They wanted me to wear a pink bow, I refused they got bitchy and well, I handled it my way. It was in a Cemetery too.”
Rachel, typical Rachel and one of the reasons why getting to know her at CU is such a good idea, she’s really interesting!
Rage: “Well… why Volleyball? Well at the Maine All Girl Academy, I was on the team there for a bit, I was an aggressive player for the girls. But coming here… Maya to be honest. I had a crush on her… she took me in when I was homeless on the streets and sleeping at the cemetery. So… I made a vow to her. I swore we would get the trophy for her, as that is her goal. So I plan to do all in my power to make that happen for her. Also I could never be on the cheerleading squad here. Buffy claimed that I was depressing being Goth… and they need peppy Cheers, not doom and gloom. Besides I am not thrilled about pink! Pink makes me ill!”
Pretty sure Rachel owns a little pink lingerie (or rather little pink lingerie) readers. Just saying.
Observer: “Whoring Harlot… that’s funny…. not from what I know totally true these days… but never say never right? How did you get homeless though… I mean it’s great Maya did that, but you mentioned earlier that you were an heiress… So… having noted that, can you give me a quote for what volleyball feels like when you’re playing? Something that connects the sport, to you and then to your fans?”
Rage: “Yeah whoring harlot… I been called names here too. I was called Satan’s little whore…Beelzebub’s daughter… Succubus incarnate… people can think up some colourful things to call me at times. Well, after the incident my parents forced me to come here, told Samantha to look out for me and made her come here too. They cut me off from my allowance, so I took what I had… forged it into more capital, bought the magic shop and it is doing very well”
“When I play it is a rush and I get to take out my anger on the ball and the other team.If the game gets tough, you spike for blood and call them your bitch!”
Rage
Observer: “Rachel the capital generating hard working girl with the money… So, ok I think I’ve got what I need! Is there anything else you’d want to add?”
Rage: “Oh and one more thing to add… I think Maya wanted to plug the volleyball collecting cards… if you could add something about it for her and the team?”
Ball Buster Trading Cards
The Observer is happy to note that trading cards featuring the CU team are available ((ICLY! It’s cool)) in the Hathian Museum & Galleries, Aurora, and other locations on campus and within Hathian itself. Grab them while you can – will you get a rare? Perhaps the mythical ‘rage in pink lingerie’ one?
Many thanks to Maya for volunteering Rachel for this interview and good luck to the Ball Busters as they go onwards, hopefully to the top of this season!
