Fancy a Date? FDH Charity Auction This Weekend!

Saturday March 30th - 12:30pm SLT - Hathian Museum & Galleries

3 mins read

This Saturday The Fire Department of Hathian (FDH) invites all citizens of Hathian and surrounding areas to attend as their guests at the Hathian Museum & Galleries where a charity auction is to be held.

The lots?


Yes that’s right from the Chief downwards your bid could land you with a date with some of Hathian’s bravest men and women.

For the event, you can order Taxi’s to: HERE and it goes without saying that despite our editor’s best attempts at inuendo, this is a charity event, not some kind of adult entertainment service!

Your Lots

Each lot is listed below, along with a few key details put forward by the organisers and any comment by the Observer’s editor who apparently has seen a few of them in even less clothes for other modelling contests!

‘I’ve Got the Experienced Hands’

Lieutenant Spurs Seattle, 48 years old. Willing to be auctioned to the ladies of this town.

“Tasty Dad Bod” – Ed

‘I Know How To Swing It’

Lieutenant Jari Seo-jun, 24 years old, born under the sign of Taurus. Open to a winning bid from the handsome men and the beautiful women of Hathian.

“What a large tool…” – Ed

‘The Stereotypes Are False. Try Me’

Firefighter Noah Birdie, 22 years old, an Appalachian Georgian. Looking forward to bids from men and women.

“An auction highlight, just like her beautiful hair!” – Ed

‘You’re on my List of Things to do Tonight’

Probie Yaden Toran, Mixed British & Caribbean heritage, 28 years old. Willing to make one of Hathian’s lovely ladies have a date to remember.

“Try and outbid me…” – Ed

‘What Kind of Deal can we Strike?’

Probie Sam Warrhol. 25 years old. Wants you to know he is Gay, but can go out with women as friends!

“Pawn? Porn… Pawn… How much will you exchange for him?” – Ed

‘Want to Save Water by Showering Together?’

Chief Dale Warrhol, 29-years-old. Hero of many fires, leader of the team and will date men and women all for this good cause.

“My smoke detector is sounding…” – Ed

‘No Defibrillator Needed’

Firefighter Shyla Fray, 24 years old, English. Willing to go on a date with men and women!

“Where do I sign for lifesaving treatment?” – Ed

‘You Don’t Have to Sign for my Package’

Captain Rog Messmer, Canadian, 58 years old, looking to give the ladies of Hathian a hot date.

“He’ll rescue you from your crash and burn…” -Ed

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