Crazed Chainsaw Man – Where Are The Cops Today?

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Written and Photographed by: Lua Monet

Another day, another crime. The situation in the city escalated again when a man with a chainsaw terrorised the neighbourhood, brandishing the dangerous weapon and causing panic among local residents. (I didn’t even have to look at the pictures to guess who – Ed)

Witnesses report that he had already vandalized several properties and even threatened some pedestrians. In this reporter’s view, the lack of immediate police presence was alarming and raises serious questions about the effectiveness of local law enforcement. As concerned citizens looked on in horror, it became clear that someone needed to step up and confront this deranged individual before someone got seriously hurt.

‘Crazed Chainsaw Man’

People needed to hide due to the inaction of the police and no one dared to decide to take matters into their own hands. The crazy man with the chainsaw continued to roam the streets, looking victims and it was as if law enforcement had given up on maintaining order in the city. In this reporter’s view, the situation is spiralling out of control and something must be done before it’s too late.

Many Hathian citizens carry concealed and though the idea of armed citizens has been a topic of debate for years it has not proven a quick fix and instead also carries a significant risk. In the wrong hands, guns can lead to more violence and chaos (and Charlie with a gun is probably a worse thing than Charlie with a heavy chainsaw! – Ed). The police department should focus on increasing their presence in the area and finding a peaceful resolution to the situation.

The crazy man with the chainsaw later seemed to have disappeared into thin air (Can often be found standing on a car outside the pawn shop -Ed). The neighbourhood exhaled a collective sigh of relief as people realized that no one appeared to be hurt during his ‘rampage’ and eventually Hathian Police Department finally arrived on the scene, taking statements from witnesses and searching for the perpetrator. As tension began to ease, the citizens of the city wondered what could have provoked such behavior in the first place. Some suggest that mental health issues might be to blame, while others speculate about the influence of drugs or organized crime.

Lua

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