An Interview With A Columtreal Hooker

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By Sarah-Michelle Buffy Gage

Sunday’s are typically tranquil day on campus, with the usual business class by new CU Dean Ms Carly Cox filling up most of the seats in the auditorium, and karaoke scheduled later.

Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing to see here.

Except when class let out students were met with the sight of a couple, getting like, totally ORAL, right by the clocktower.

Not the kind of job we were expecting to see on campus…

This might not be unusual in hooker central, Bourbon Street in Hathian, known as the hangout for strippers and streetwalkers for decades.

Even the so called “union” of streetwalkers, the Harlots, don’t operate at CU, so on a mostly crime-free campus it caused quite the stir!

It didn’t take long for CUPD to arrest the woman and the man (I know who you are! I can tell that hair anywhere Hendrix!) was seen running off in the direction of District 8 before he could be arrested.

Students not the criminals

It’s a fact that most students at Columtreal are not criminals and the criminal elements come to the campus from the nearby towns of Hathian or Port Laveau. They seek easy victims, or vulnerable students.

Columtreal University confirmed neither party were registered as students on the campus.

Whilst the woman arrested stated when asked she was NOT a member of the Harlots but an independent operative, it still it shows that some criminals or the desperate see an opportunity on campus.

Every harlot is a whore, but not every whore is a harlot…

Asked why she wasn’t part of the so-called union Jenna said, “well, I suppose maybe it’s easier if You’re part of a network, it took me time to get established…but I have a pretty good Clientele now, and as long as I am bringing home money, my Master..I mean, my Man is happy.”

I also asked her if she found it easier to get work at CU due to the lack of hookery competition; “I mean, the guys in Hathian, they’re pretty cheap too….the guys here? Most are here on mom and dad’s dime….so they like to spend it…though they also….You know….aren’t the most experienced….so what I work an hour in Hathian or Laveau to earn, I can do in 15 minutes here….same price, 3 times the money because i get more work…!”

Is crime growing at Columtreal?

This might be a minor crime but is it a sign that the crime endemic to Hathian city and Port Laveau is creeping its way onto the Columtreal University campus?

A recent total ban on firearms in the campus vicinity aims to keep the students safer, but other crimes such as illegal prescription drugs, theft and violence with hand-held weapons has been known to occur on Columtreal’s hallowed grounds.

When asked if he believed crime was rising on campus, Cadet Anthony Amore of the Columtreal University Police Department told this reporter: “From my own perspective no however if we don’t keep up the required funding for CUPD training and finance for the CUPD we may lack the required funding to keep police on duty which could result in a uprise of crime within the campus.”

There may not be many complaints if they see this more often…

But surely, its a college campus and they expect horny students to be getting groiny with each other twenty-four seven on the mostly VERY liberal college campus.

A spokesperson for the administration stated “whilst we encourage our students as young adults, to explore their sexuality, there’s a time and place for everything.

Public classrooms and the campus pathways and open areas are NOT the places for graphically lewd activity or blatant sexual acts. We would encourage all students, faculty and visitors to the university to explore their feelings in a more private environment!”

So from the school board’s mouth, “if you’re gonna’ get horny, find somewhere lonely!”

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