See You Later Alligator

9 mins read
Fight Night main pic

By Hirohito Tanaka, with commentary by Daiyu Tang
Location: the Plant

Hathian Faction Fight Night unleashed the raw power of man and beast alike in the Plant.

Readers, GBTL here. I’m so pleased that one of our other Observer colleagues has been doing what the team does best and capturing stories around Hathian. I flew in on the Saturday and despite arriving to the Fight Night I missed most of the ‘action’. We are therefore very lucky that the entire event was captured, both on Hiro’s Twitter, via photos and in this article. Now, onwards to Hiro’s thoughts:

Hiro: August 20th was another night full of clenched fists and pounding punches, as it was Faction Fight Night in The Plant.

The event was announced through Twitter and other non-official channels and besides heaving and sweating heaps of muscle it promised to auction away the losers of each fight. To what end? Hmm. Fighters came from the different factions that call Hathian their home and who normally would colour the streets red and provide HGH with lost limbs and organs. That night however they were fighting by the rules, well Camden and Brandie’s rules it seems. Or, at least they attempted to do so.

The first fight: Kali & Siga

The first fighting pair were two women, who could not be more different in appearance: Cali and Siga. Cali was a lean, pale, fully clad woman in what appeared to be a straitjacket style of garment, fully in black with red accents, which repeated themselves in her hair, which she had bound into two short twin tails.  The other was almost naked and wore tattoos instead. She looked like she had a C-section and elsewise spend her time wrestling men, large animals, life and Hathian in general.

As the fight started, Cali did have the high ground, but Siga’s primal instincts later woke up, and Cali lost with a severed ankle. She was later auctioned off for 700$ to “Athena the Moth”. Seven hundred heavy ones are kind of a lot of money in Hathian, where the average person is poor, and the median income lies several times under the normal US income.

The second fight: Lola and Lee

The Second fight came as a surprise for me, since it was a woman and a man. Lola and Lee delivered not just a fight to remember, but also looks to remember. Lola was called derogatory terms like “The Cow”, as she sported a black and white outfit with patterns resembling Holsteiner cattle.

But she was anything but the shape of a bovine, her stately appearance visually was a good match to the taut collection of muscle, that entered the stage with her. Lee, whom I later found out might be part of the police force, wore rabbit ears, and looked like he could take the woman down in one blow. But it was not so, Lola, who also was called slurs directed at her ethnicity, severed the rabbit man with some talented blows, and he had to hobble into slavery for 1000$, despite his claw clenching game being up to par. We, the audience, saw and heard him being in a bad temper the whole evening after.

The third fight: Tabitha Hopper and Dr. Heinrich

The third fight build upon the second in terms of nerve-wrecking scenes: Tabitha and Heinrich were announced, and again, the visuals alone were worth it: Tabitha showed in what can best be described as a mix between the delicate frilled and feathered costume usually worn by the principal dancer of the Swan Lake and a birthday cake for Verruca Salt’s sixth birthday. Soft-ice coloured, she would use ballet dance moves to get the upper hand over Heinrich, whose day job is that of a medical doctor. ((GBTL Comment: hahahahahahahahaahah?!)) He showed up in his blue scrubs, and looked like he would win over the delicate ballerina.

But after a grueling hour, that counted more than ten rounds, if my memory serves me correct, he had to give in, his blood now scattered all over the scrubs and the ring. The doctor, who is a member of the Kogarashi, was auctioned away for 800$… to what appeared to be his ex-wife. GBTL comment: Wow. Why are these apart if she wants him so badly? Does she miss him that much in bed? Answers on a postcard to the Observer gossip column

Fight 4: Man vs. Beast

The last fight was the absolute highlight, when it comes to drama, blood and the craziness, that Hathian lives under each day: Man vs Beast. The best in this case was an 8-foot alligator, announced as Fluffy, the Man-Eating Gator. His opponent, a human called Dingo, was a lean, semi-tall man wearing only shorts and a severe case of the morning wood. He fought a well-negotiated case for the homo sapiens, utilizing his wits over the 1000lbs animal, but to the public’s great dismay, he could not outwit the animal, who got him by his trunk and performed a bloody barrel roll, majorly severing his body, and leaving trails of devastation in and outside the ring.

Then, the audience made an instant exit, as the body was carried away, and Fluffy started to explore the surroundings for a better meal. Hathian had claimed another victim. And if it was not for one of the bravest women I have seen, The Plant would have been a blood bath. The for me unknown woman fearlessly jumped on the back of the ornery animal, stopping it cold in its tracks. By then, my assistant and I had left The Plant, trying to get our minds together.

In Conclusion

Fight Nights in Hathian tend to make you lose your money, health and mind, and sometimes your sanity and life. That night, The Plant showed a microcosms of the Hathian society for four hours, where people were sold for the price of half a studio flat in the bigger cities, cops and gang members alike fought women, who held up against the overwhelming power and saved the day for themselves and everyone. As always in Hathian it’s a complete… basket case.

GBTL Comments: Wow. I only caught Hein’s fight and then my stomach didn’t exactly cope with the Alligator fight. With apparently off-duty officers in the ring and the audience, this perhaps put paid to the idea that limits are anything other than what the powers that be decide… I don’t think in anywhere other than Hathian is it possible for people to sign their life away fighting wild animals… Anyway, many thanks to those that supported the event and thanks to Hiro for diligently covering it. As noted, you can follow his Twitter in the link above!

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