“As many of you all know, the holidays are coming up soon and its time for that same rush every year. People suddenly are thinking thoughts of good will, spending time together, taking off work and buying things we don’t need. A holiday that was once about religion has became a holiday of mindless consumorism and smothersome families or even just strangers buggering you into “having happy holidays”
Then you go into town and it and all the houses are littered with tacky lights and decorations cluttering up what should be a normal looking street. Even right now you walk the streets here and you are likely to trip over a slowly decaying pumpkin left out for some poor sap to have to clean up later. All the lights and clutter making for fire hazards or electrocution risk in the meanwhile. Extra traffic on the road ways causing more accidents and road rage. Lower productivity at work places due to everyone day dreaming of yuletides and ginger bread houses.
Offices that you need to pay a visit to, such as the phone company taking days off, inconvieniencing you. People constantly harrasing you with the same things over and over. “Are you ready for Christmas? Whats your plans for thanksgiving? What are you doing for new years?” or even the constant “happy holidays” at every turn from people who normally wouldnt take the time to speak to you the rest of the year.
Am I the only one who has been tired of this same monatony year after year? I have decided that this year instead of just sitting at home and griping about it, I would try to rally more to my cause and raise awareness that you don’t have to do this. That we can stop the holidays folks! That’s right this year I am launching what I call operation humbug, a clever tribute to Mr.Scrooge who I think really had the right idea. A good days work is reward enough, instead of wasting time on such…such bologny.
Project Humbug will be the beginning of what I hope will take off and become a nationwide thing, depending on your alls acceptance. Join with me this year and let’s stop the holidays folks. Our aim is to atleast nail christmas if we can’t get thanksgiving. Thats the biggest waste of time and money there is. First we start by going to the mayor with a petition to not put up the decorations this year. Alone that could save our town valuable tax money spent on paying utility workers to put up the lights and such, it will also lower the towns electricity costs. Imagine that? We may even get lower taxes out of the savings!
And imagine if perhaps we find a lawyer brave enough to take on Christmas? Someone up to the challege of pushing through a public ban on thanksgiving or christmas, that will fight tooth and nail to give us real justice. The right of peace and quiet. We can shut up those who wants to force this mindless consumorism onto people with such a ban. The streets will be less crowded with no traffic going to buy presents. Imagine the sizes of your wallets by not having to buy everybody and their cousin a present this year? No obligations at all!
Please folks, if any of you are up to joining this cause or know of a realy tough as nails lawyer that may help, have them find me. I am usually sitting around town early or can be reached at 555-555-5040 ((IM Vince Whitewood)). Let’s take the fight to the holidays and give our town peace for a change. Not peace from gang violence, but peace from the headache of tradional holidays.
Signed, Vince Whitewood