By: Daiyu Tang (and other named contributors in their respective sections)
Well my dear readers, whether in Hathian or Columtreal, what a selection of views and thoughts about the Hathian P…. Columtreal Police Department do I have for you today. We’re really in three parts today; firstly we’re covering what appears to be a potential abuse of due process (and justice) by the CUPD. Secondly, we’re covering statements given by the department partly in response to the first matter, but also as they sought to reassure college students about safety and ‘rules’; especially relevant after the terrorist attack on campus (not the first and won’t be the last). Finally, we’re covering the views of one Columtreal Student who really worries that CUPD’s approach in Campus Group Chats and more broadly is a sign of abuses to come. So really, three articles in one – lucky you.
The Curious Case of the Captain’s Significant Other

It all started with a voicemail left on my personal phone: “My Daiyu. I’ve been arrested. be safe. I love you.”
Now, clearly and immediately for those eagle-eyed readers it implies I know the person leaving the voicemail and it’s true. I do and I was in a relationship with her. In fact, someone with too much time did a little profile on us.
So pictured left is Daria, CU student and scientist. She’s the one who has proven what was in Gein Burgers (trace cocaine) and also helped out around campus with investigations into the occult and sometimes dangerous. She’s also been attacked on campus before and worked closely with the CUPD afterwards.
So imagine my surprise to get this message. What could my former girlfriend have been arrested for? What heinous crime and in particular, what crime could have had her sent to the Hathian Police Department (‘HPD’) rather than be dealt with by the CUPD who have spared no words stating they are a ‘proper police force’.
Hold on, because it’s a doozy.
The Captain’s Significant Other Claimed She Was Raped
Fellow student Calliope accused Daria of raping her in the CU Library at which point the full force of CUPD came down on Daria without any form of investigation of the actual facts. What also came down on Daria was a request by the Captain of the CUPD for her to give her the ‘famous HPD treatment’.
Let that sink in for a moment. The ‘softer’ CUPD outsourcing potential violence against a female student to the HPD. However in a moment of pure karma it seemed that the HPD wasn’t interested in just randomly abusing a student. I caught up with Daria to find out more and to find out, her perspective, on what happened.
Daria: “So the worst didn’t happen. I’d assumed based on what was requested during my arrest that I was going to be put in the hospital. But I was left alone.”
Observer: “What do you mean, what was requested?”
Daria: “The CUPD captain asked the HPD to give me their ‘famous’ treatment. Instead, they decided to investigate the whole ordeal, for whatever reason… …That’s when they let me call you.”
Let’s be clear here dear readers. ‘Famous Treatment’. You don’t need a diploma in subtext to work out what that means, nor do you need more than a cursory search about jail time in Hathian to see some of it. I draw reader’s attention to this ‘moment’ from our archives.
So What Does Daria Claim Happened?
Of course, there is no claim without something usually and I can quite imagine the Blood Empress of Columtreal being scary to someone. Equally, I’ve certainly covered regretted encounters (see the famous slime trail story for example) that have later led to (false) claims or violent actions. I asked Daria what she thought had happened:
Daria: “She and I did have sex, but I had thought it was consensual. She was quite… handsy with herself at the library… I was unaware she had been drugged at all, if she had been. Which would make sense if she was. She was asleep when I found her…”
I asked Daria whether she thought that Calliope had been drugged or otherwise under the influence and therefore consent might not have been apparent, even if finger-banging oneself in the library has in the past led to perfectly consensual encounters for many students (ahem).
Daria: “I intend to find her and apologize for that. Unless I get arrested for going near her, anyways. Cyrus seemed intent on slandering my name across campus and making it illegal for me to even be in CU when Calliope is.”
So dear readers, while not proof, it appears a lot more proof than anything the CUPD has been able to advance, which misdirection and attempts to smear me and the Observer for investigating an abuse of power. Just look at it this way… The captain’s squeeze is drugged or otherwise not fully in consent and is finger-banging herself. A student comes and together they make out. Later, because someone has drugged the CUPD assume it was the one who had sex with her and instead of even investigating properly try and get the entrapped student abused by HPD. How do we feel about that? Victims need protection and consent is really important, but if someone appears to have given consent but it was given due to events outside either persons’ control, shouldn’t the real criminal be sought? Apparently not in this town.
CUPD Holds a ‘Press Conference’

With the Group Chats lighting up about this case and the general CUPD message that was starting to be more like ‘Big Brother’ and less ‘Campus Safety’, the CUPD Captain Cyrus held a ‘press conference’.
Cyrus: “Good morning, and thank you all for attending. I am Captain Cyrus Felwood. Today, I will address key concerns and outline the direction and priorities of the Columtreal University Police Department. Once my remarks are complete, the floor will be open for your questions, concerns, and suggestions. I expect this to be a constructive and transparent discussion.”
The ‘conference’ was attended by many students and some faculty. After the drama of the Group Chat, at least it started out fairly officially.
Cyrus: “The first announcement I would like to make concerns a new approach to arrest protocol within the Columtreal University Police Department. We fully recognize the academic responsibilities of our students. Therefore, moving forward, CUPD officers will escort detained students to their classes, lectures, and other required academic activities, ensuring they can fulfil their educational obligations. Following these activities, students will be returned to complete the remainder of their detention. Keep in mind, this will not include parties, and social events that are not conductive to education”
So basically, unless you’re Daria and sent for ‘famous treatment’, you will spend time in CUPD’s little jail but be escorted to class by an officer so that your peers know you’ve done pretty naughty, but not naughty enough for ‘famous treatment’. Public shaming. It’s like that Game of Thrones Scene ‘SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!”
Cyrus: “Secondly, I would like to address my recent conduct on the Columtreal social platform. I recognize that my actions were not aligned with the professional standards expected of my position. My approach was influenced by the personal connection I had to the case, as the victim involved is my fiancée. I sincerely apologize for the manner in which I handled that situation. However, CUPD unequivocally condemns any statements made on the platform regarding this case that undermine or invalidate the feelings or report of the victim. It is important to recognize that the victim also has access to this platform. Any actions that constitute intimidation or harassment of a victim will be treated seriously, and
may result in citations or, in more severe cases, arrest.”
It’s like kinda how HPD work, except a little less sharp isn’t it dear readers? ‘Don’t talk the truth about a mistake I made in abusing another student, because my financeé was abused, but I didn’t investigate properly, just got upset she and another girl banged…’ I mean that may not be true, but the sad facts of the case are that any evidence, such that there was has gone due to the passage of time and the desire to speedily send a female to HPD. Wonderful.
Of course, I raised this in the ‘press conference’, being uhh… the press, the journalism lecturer and connected to the abused woman. Two abuses doesn’t make a right of course, but sweeping the second abuse under the carpet of citation threats? That just makes a journalist a little upset. Yep.
Observer: “That’s a lie, an exaggeration of circumstances of a student who, drugged by someone, or having taken drugs herself, was pleasuring herself in the library. Then, according to Daria had what she thought of was consensual sex. She quite admits that if afterwards the signals were taken wrong due to drugs, that she should apologise. But no, she was arrested and on the basis of as far as I can tell, jack shit in terms of police work and you decided to transfer a student to the HPD. But that’s not what was the WORST. Shoddy police work, that’s Hathian. No you did worse than that. You told HPD to give her their ‘FAMOUS Treatment’ and we all know what that means. I’ve covered that before…. YOU incited potential abuse of a prisoner, arrested without proper police work, by the Hathian PD. It is only through the good graces of Inspector O’Neil and others, who for all their other sins, didn’t see sense in abusing a random student from this University that she has been released unharmed….”
It went back and forth a bit, but with the officer connected to the case, threats aren’t going to land. I’ve investigated friends, I’ve reported on my own Fianceé’s family; I’ve named her father as a person of interest in an actual crime. I don’t do favours. I tell people like I see it and as a certain lawyer in Hathian knows, I put $10k in the charity box rather than take; because once you bend more than a few inches, or take, more than your share. You become the problem.
Cyrus: “The Columtreal University Police Department remains committed to upholding the highest standards of professionalism while effectively fulfilling our duty to protect the campus and surrounding grounds. Opinions from individuals closely connected to a suspect will not influence or be treated as credible in the handling of any case. CUPD maintains a clear and unwavering stance: sexual assault, regardless of circumstance or the presence of intoxicants, is never indicative of consent. This matter will not be subject to further debate in this forum. Should any individual wish to continue attempting to undermine a victim’s report, they are encouraged to respectfully excuse themselves.”
The irony. The irony. I have an opinion (backed by copies of the police reports). He has the power and used it indiscriminately. Anyway, I think my dear readers you get the idea and of course he denied telling HPD to do anything to Daria. I’ll let you decide; as some of you know Daria… does she strike you as a desperate rapist, and/or someone who would make up her arrest? No. She’s a genuine person who would apologise for anything if brought to her attention.
There was a whole other debate about whether cheerleaders were exempt from detention and so on and so forth. Perspective people.
Rage Against the Machine
Even before the Press Conference, the CUPD had made their presence felt. Our campus roving commentator penned this article…
By: Olympia Lowell-Forbes

Even before the Press Conference, the CUPD had made their presence felt. Our campus roving commentator penned this article…
“A police state is a system of government in which authorities maintain control over the population through pervasive surveillance, strict policing, and limited civil liberties.”
Well now sugar, I might look like I spend more time picking lipstick shades than reading legal texts, but even a girl with acrylic nails and a political science elective can tell when something smells a little funny. And honey, the official March 10th statement from the Columtreal University Campus Police Department has got a lot of students asking a very simple question:
When does “campus safety” start looking a whole lot like a police state?
Now before anybody clutches their pearls, let’s start with what CUPD actually said. According to the official statement from Captain Cyrus Felwood, the department began investigating after learning that “an individual suspected of committing sexual assaults was present on campus.” Nobody disputes that serious allegations deserve serious investigation. Victims deserve protection, and predators deserve accountability.
But the methods used along the way are raising eyebrows all across Columtreal.
The statement explains that Captain Felwood authorized “extended routine patrols, periodic identification checks when appropriate, and visits to student housing areas.” In plain English, that means police officers roaming around campus residences asking students to identify themselves and entering private property to do so.
Now darling, that might sound harmless enough in a press release, but the United States Constitution has something to say about government authority showing up in people’s living spaces. Specifically, the Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution, which protects individuals from unreasonable searches, seizures, and arbitrary police intrusions.
In other words, officers usually need reasonable suspicion, consent, or a warrant before demanding identification or entering a residence.
That’s not just a legal technicality, it’s one of the most fundamental protections in American law.
Yet the CUPD statement goes on to describe a particularly concerning incident at a sorority residence. According to the report, Captain Felwood “identified himself before entering the residence,” adding that “no forced entry occurred, as the front door of the property was already open.”
God forbid, if I ever forget to lock the bathroom stall, who knows who might try and force entry while I’m doing my lady-things in there. Now honey, just because the door is open does not mean the Constitution packed its bags and left the building.
The statement continues: “The Captain entered only the common living room area of the residence and made contact with the individuals present. He then requested identification from the students located in that shared space.”
Let’s pause right there.

Entering a residence; even a shared living space, is not the same thing as walking through a public park. Courts have repeatedly recognized that students living in university housing retain a reasonable expectation of privacy. A notable example is Piazzola v. Watkins, which confirmed that university ownership of dormitories does not eliminate Fourth Amendment protections for students.
But CUPD’s justification leans heavily on the idea that sorority houses are university property. The statement emphasizes that “sorority and fraternity houses are considered university property” and that they are “owned by the university and provided for use by the respective student organizations.”
Now I might be a southern girl who enjoys pageant hair and sweet tea, but even I know that ownership and privacy are two different things. If property ownership alone allowed law enforcement unrestricted access, then landlords could invite police officers into apartment units whenever they pleased. Thankfully, the law says otherwise. The Constitution protects people, not buildings.
The statement also notes that “some students initially expressed disagreement with the identification request,” though they eventually provided their IDs. That detail is important, because the Supreme Court has addressed this very issue before. In Brown v. Texas, the Court ruled that police cannot detain someone simply to demand identification without reasonable suspicion that the person is involved in criminal activity. Random ID checks… especially inside a residence cross a constitutional line real quick.
Now dolls, remember that initial definition of a police state in the start of the article? Yes, that fits well right here. Because when law enforcement starts conducting widespread identification checks, entering student housing, and justifying it all by saying the property belongs to the university, the environment begins to resemble something political scientists call a police state.
Now I’m not saying Columtreal has suddenly turned into some dystopian novel. But the language in CUPD’s statement certainly leans toward a philosophy where administrative authority replaces constitutional safeguards.
Take another line from the statement: CUPD reminds students that “Columtreal University and its campus grounds are considered private property” and that officers are therefore “authorized to request student or faculty identification when necessary.”
That phrase “when necessary” is doing a lot of heavy lifting! Necessary according to whom? The CUPD? Captain Felwood? The School Board?
So what should we do? This poster gives you some ideas…

With thanks to our contributor Olympia for that eloquent treatise (with a flavour of a little help with the legal references I might add!) about why the CUPD (or HPD in Hathian) should respect certain constitutional rights. Will they? Only time will tell, but the precedent of Daria’s case is not promising. It will take some crimes with criminals, caught by evidence and good police work to rebuild a reputation that even with the rosiest interpretation didn’t come up smelling very good at all.
This is Daiyu Tang, for the Observer, for the Journalism Department and for people with less voice and less power than those who would wield it over us. Signing off. For now.
