By CU Gossipgirl
They’re creepy and they’re kooky
You miss me Looters? I was having fun during all the Pride celebrations, watching you all. Watching you sharing fun and love, and kisses and gossip. So much gossip. Maybe I’ll spill the tea, or maybe I’ll keep it to myself.
Speaking of happy friendships and families there’s a bit of a family sitch on campus which raises A LOT of questions.
You may have seen them in the early hours all over each other, fawning, kissing, hugging in an overly familiar way by the clock tower or the gymnasium. They used to live together at the crematorium, and now shack up in a house on campus locally called “The Murder House.” Creepy much?
Mysterious and spooky
The Lubezkis are the closest we have to genuine goths on campus, along with their little sidekick and Observer editor Daiyu Tang. Although they share the same surname it’s unclear if they are blood relatives, but there is a definite incestuous vibe that surprises absolutely no-one from the deep south.
They’re altogether ooky
Rumours have circled campus for more than a year that the Lubezkis practice experiments of both medical and occult origins. Evidence of this exists; strange objects in the old mortuary, medical waste in the garbage, strange injuries on students who have spent one-on-one time with them. Plus what is UP with Daria’s teeth? The girl has a smile like a vampire bat! No-one tell Buffy! (whoops)
As one student was overheard saying “they’re into some weird fucking shit.”
Now they are opening a shop together, Witch Way Alley. Which caters to the occult, the weirdos and the alternatives.
There have long been rumours of witches at Columtreal. In fact its built into the blood and bricks of the old grand university town. The university building itself is a former asylum. Marie Laveau herself was said to have visited.
There was a sorority called HEX who were practicing wiccans which disappeared off the face of the earth a decade or so ago, it’s members forced into hiding after being outed by a rival sorority.
So are there still witches on campus? Is HEX still in hiding? Are the Lubezkis the ringleaders?
Are they even the cause of the mysterious accidents and outbreaks that sometimes occur on the campus?
Which way are the witches? Let’s get our torches and pitchforks!
