By: Daiyu Tang
Readers, it has been brought to the Observer’s attention that all across Columtreal, Hathian and Backwaters a trail of prams containing some creepy dolls has started sprouting up. Prams have been sighted outside CUPD, in HGH and in many, many other places. (See our list below)
Now some of you will know that here at the Observer, we like to get involved with investigative journalism, digging and digging until we find the truth. In this story that might not be needed, or at least not in regards to the who. With the likely perpetrators on camera and linked to our previous article about the ‘Circus’ it seems that focus should turn to the why. Why leave prams around town, flooding our streets with the creep factor so much that FDH and HPD had to pile them high and burn them?
Coulrophobia
For those who followed our previous article you will recall a man dressed in a rotting clown costume who wanted to be known as ‘Mr Bob’, praising a former Dead End and Hathian resident Uncle Bob they vowed that they were bringing back the style they felt was missing in Hathian, with Mr Bob quoted as saying:
“Crime and misdeeds were to be ever the order of the day. Nothing beats the fun of hurting others for fun I tell you!”
Mr Bob
As you can tell readers, I am not the biggest fans of clowns, although the rotten / grunge look of Mr.Bob is actually a little less scary than the Ronald McDonald style of clown with fake bright makeup and the rest.
So, what links Mr Bob to these pram sightings? Photographs. It appears he also as an accomplice, although at present no one can reliably identify either him or her. What a cute baby they had together right readers?
Confirmed Pram Sightings
The following are where we’ve seen prams being reported to us, although with FDH and HPD actively destroying them it’s very likely we’ve missed some.
- HGH’s Lobby
- Outside HPD
- Outside FDH
- One outside Bro’s BBQ
- Outside the Hathian Observer
- Outside the Daily Grind
- Outside CU’s Main Building
- Outside CUPD
- Inside the Theatre
- And probably more…
If you find one, do let us know and if anything changes, for example the way it is laid out, or the contents of the pram, do let us know. Just be careful citizens, you’ll remember the Christmas Bombing campaign from 2022 that involved random objects left round Hathian.
FDH and HPD Respond
Due to the large number of calls fielded about the issue and the fact these items were left in public places like HGH and outside HPD, the emergency services appeared to have collected those that they can and burned them down on the beach. While this clearly deals with the problem on a temporary basis, more have appeared and it would appear to do nothing about those who are likely putting them in Hathian.
For now, the Observer has to say that Mr. Bob and his ‘glamorous assistant’ have only been a public nuisance with some verbal menace thrown in, but what is their goal? Will people get hurt? Perhaps HPD should expend effort to talk to Bob first before things get worse….
In addition to the official response, we are aware that various citizens got involved in the ‘burn’, including multiple reports that someone called Estelle burned one outside Bro’s BBQ while another citizen, Runa, fearing a biochemical hazard dug out an old hazmat suit for it! Citizens, I am sure FDH and HPD appreciate you getting involved, but just in case there is something dangerous… leave it to the professionals ok?
If you have any tips or information, please do contact a member of the Observer!
