32 mins read

(The following is a video posted on the Observer website of Episode 1 of The Hathian Bachelor reality show.)



Em wanders up to the chair-bound pair after arriving where she needs to be and she moves to half-sit, half-stand against the edge of the planter.  “Good afternoon, folks.  Healin’ up ok there?”  She looks to David.  “You’re looking a little worse for wear since we last spoke.”

David turns to see Em and furrows his brow “Umm.. excuse me.. I am always fabulous” re-adjusting as he proceeded “Well hello Em. and how are you feeling today?  Are you just psyched to meet the bachelor?”

Em looks over to David and chuckles lightly.  “I’m sure he’ll be a delight to talk with, indeed.  This sun is a little strong, though.  I think I’ll need my parasol so I don’t cook like a lobster.  Looks like you’re making friends.”

David blinks as Em commented on the him making friends, or rather not making friends, he bit his tongue and remembered, TV show, cameras, have to behave.  “Well well Em I see you bring your biting wit with you for all of town to see.  What sort of date are you hoping to have with the Colonel?”

Em opens up the parasol and leans it gently against her shoulder to cast herself in shade and avoid the bite of the sun, which was inevitable with such a pale complexion as she has.  Looking back over toward where James was chatting with Ana, she’d shrug lightly at the question.  “Something where we can talk.  A movie is always so impersonal, I’d like to get to know him a bit, rather than just be all about the physicals.”

David  nodded, clearly not paying attention, “Yeah that’s a lovely idea.  Well… I won’t keep you long Em.  Please go and find the bachelor, introduce yourself, and I wish you the best of luck.” eyes moving to the parasol as he murmurred “I should have one of these.” Snapping his fingers to the producer behind the camera then pointing to the parasol, then pointing to his own head, he was sure he made his point.

Em looks back over to David when he tells her to go find the bachelor and introduce herself.  Well, he wasn’t all that hard to find, being just a few feet off, but she’d nod her head and turn to head out and introduce herself.  Em looks to the large man with the cane.  “Good afternoon.”  She saw his hand out and smiled a little more, reaching over to take his hand.  “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you..  I’m Doctor Requiem Swampy.  But people just call me Em for ease.”  She tips the parasol so that it wasn’t blocking her view of his face at all.  “How do you prefer to be addressed?”  She’d ask, having heard them call him by name, by title, and whatnot, but that didn’t matter if he didn’t like those monikers.  “I believe we’ve actually met before.”

James’ fingers wrapped delicately around Em’s hand just the same as he did with the two others before her, and again issued that gentle kiss to the top of it in his gentlemanly fashion. Such a thing was unfortunately not able to be given to Ana since he would have to practically sit on the ground to kiss her hand, with the wheelchair and all. Some things were just too far of a stretch. “Doctor? Another fantastic profession. What type of doctor are you, exactly?” His smile broadened a great deal on this news. Clearly, something about women with a well-tailored resume appealed to the old man in some way. “You can call me James, or Colonel Weaver. Whichever you prefer.” He intentionally refrained from making any salty comments regarding her referring to him as ‘Mister’ in an interview not that long ago. It had struck a nerve but he didn’t let it show on television. “Have we? I’m sorry, but I don’t recall having seen you before. When was this?”

Em flushes lightly at the very old-fashioned gesture of the kiss to the back of her hand.  It was what had stuck out about him when they’d first met as well.  “At the Grind.  Or rather, in the doorway of the Grind some time ago before I had finished my Doctorate.  I believe it was raining at the time, though my memory is a bit shoddy.”  She shrugs helplessly.  “I have my Psy.D., as opposed to a Ph.D., as such, I’m a Psychiatrist. I’ve just opened my own practice near the HGH called Sound Mind.  You may have seen the brightly colored sign out front if you’ve passed by.”  When he mentions how he liked to be addressed, she’d nod.  “You can call me Em, if I can refer to you as James.  Seems fitting, seeing as how we should be getting to know one another better.”

James still had a few old fashioned traits built into him. Some good, some bad. These were things that would inevitably come out into the open over the next few weeks. Except this was the time he wanted to spend getting to know these women that were all lined up for him. “Well, I still don’t remember it too well. Suppose that should be a good thing. Otherwise that may be considered your way of having an unfair advantage.” He added in some laughter following his own jest. “I’ve not visited town in some time, so I can’t say that I have seen the sign. But I can tell you that is a wonderful practice you’ve got into there. I’m definitely looking forward to hearing more about it, Em.” He’d tactfully stacked her name onto the end of his comment to serve as confirmation that he was okay with her referring to him on a first-name basis.

Em really should have been born in a different time, because she had different morals and values than many other people she knew.  These might well line up with some of his, some might conflict drastically.  But the romantic gesture of the hand kiss was certainly noted.  “I look forward to having more of an opportunity to talk with you again, James.”  She’d respond, picking up the subtle allowance in his reply to her.  “I’m not sure if I’m pleased to not be accused of having an advantage or disappointed about being so easily forgotten.”  She chuckles good-naturedly and gives her head a light shake.

James  seemed to be more appreciative of Em’s choice of career than he even was with the list that he’d been given from the first woman, then again he might be bias since his now-deceased wife was a doctor herself. Just a little bit of nostalgia. “It’s not just you, I promise.” He said and flapped a hand dismissively through the air at the womans disappointment, “But I am confident you will give me plenty to remember in these next couple weeks.” Whether his memories were good or bad, were completely up to her.

Em gives James a warm smile at his response, and when Max came up behind her, Em glances back for a moment, then to him again.  “I suppose that’s my cue.  I look forward to speaking with you again.” She offers, before moving to head off where the other girls had gone

James  simply dipped his head toward Em as she started off, and then it was onto the next woman down the line. ​



Ana moves off the way she’d seen Ren go earlier, but stops short when she sees …lots of stairs.  Grunting softly, she turns the chair about and wheels herself toward the doors to see if there’s another way in.  Returning outside, she moves to the stairs and simply waits there.  Clearly, there isn’t a way for her to get up to the balcony inside the house either.  This is going to be…interesting.  She stares at the stairs as she contemplates how to get herself up them to the balcony.

Ren came running out on the balcony exclaiming , ” we’ve been robbed !”  the mansion inside  had areas  that  were pulled together  but for the most part it was in shambles ,  problems with the decorators , according to the production assistants. But being robbed seemed  more dramatic.  Ren came jogging  down the stairs in those heels , hoping the camera  was catching  every moment , as she didnt want to have to do it all again . Noticing Ana at the bottom of the stairs  Ren smiled , whispering , ” Hi I’m Ren ”

Ana turns to Ren as she hollars that they’ve been robbed.  She looks confused with that – of course, she’s been told the same as everyone else, problems with the decorators.  As Ren comes running down the stairs all excited like, she moves the chair backward to be out of the way.  When the pause is given and the whispered introduction made, she smiles.  “Ana.” she says in return, offering her hand for a shake.   “There’s nothing up there?” she asks, jutting her chin in an upward direction at the stairs.  “I knew there were problems….”



Max was late, fabulously late cause she still had lots  of paperwork to get over with while she was stepping away from the Rub N Tug, during the bachelor. Great timing, she hated it but then again, she wasn’t entirely sure if she liked being on the Bachelor since her whole reason at first was Kiyomi, who had left her for some rich English gentleman. Nevertheless she would be in it for the money, while pretending not to be — she always had been a social charming creature, and so she would use that to get her through the weeks of the TV Show. Once she left her stuff with the production team, she moved to head where she was expected. eyes immediately falling upon David in the wheelchair, before she stepped to join the couple waiting there. “Bonjou, sorry I am late.” She let out, as if she actually felt sorry about it.

David caught Max arriving “Well well Max, welcome! And how are you feeling today? I’m definitely starting to feel my painkillers wearing off. How about you?” he continued and tried to put on a brave smile, blinking to the production crew and hopefully they would get the hint to bring him something that would take the pain away.

Max  “David.” She greeted a small smile parting her lips, before she shrugged “Sore, ‘ad a long evenin’.” She cracked those pearly whites “Old friend came to town, kinda t’ing.” While her gaze strayed over to glance around. “If only I’d knew you in pain I would’ve broug’t some of your cousin’s stuff.” Obviously talking about some drugs, though she wasn’t spelling it out loud. “But feelin’ wonderful… Great spanis’ woman entertained my nig’t, since I won’t be bangin’ any gurrls, durin’ t’is … ” Her hand moved up “T’ing.” Her brow curved, watching Em walk off before attention drifted back to David “So, still gonna do an interview sometime, or am I one of t’ose introduced surprising t’e audience?”

David nodded with his big flashy but now also pained smile as Max described her night.  He wondered if Max knew they were on camera while talking about not banging any girls, but then maybe she did.  The woman did speak her mind.  “Well that… is just wonderful!” distracted with the onset of pain, not something he was fond of handling despite the fact that he did get hurt a lot the poor man.  “Oh don’t you worry! We will definitely do an interview for you.” he assured her.  “But tell me Max… are you nervous at all about meeting the bachelor and the other girls?”

Max chucked at the wonderful comment coming from David, she couldn’t care much about camera’s, they wanted TV they could get TV. She  turned a little sideways as David looked at the crew, the camera with that flashy paining smile, while the brunette moved to leave one hand on his wheelchair to lean against it, while smiling in the same direction  “Non, I t’ink I can ‘andle said girls, and t’e Bac’elor..” She shrugged “We’ll see about t’at.. Always ‘ad a t’ing for older men, so..”  another shrug, before she smiled some more “Great place you got ‘ere t’oug’, Mon C’erie — Curious to see ‘ow it looks from t’e inside.” Unaware of that cluster fuck, still. “So, uh any ot’er questions, or am I about to meet t’is lovely bac’ everyone is ‘ere for.”

David nodded wide eyed as Max revealed in fine fashion that she could handle both the girls and the man.  “Well then… sounds like you’ll be doing more than fine.  Yes the inside doesn’t really look the best because well… I fired the contractors because they were stupid.  But fear not.  I’m sure we will have it ready by tomorrow…. ish” he looked over to the crew to see if he could send Max over yet and got a no.  “Oh okay yeah one more question.  Do you prefer the left side or the right side of the bed?” yep that should give enough time to stall.  He didn’t hear Ren announce that they were robbed, but once Max had answered the question he did get the go ahead to send Max over.  Only once she was done answering “Well Max here’s your chance.  Please go meet the bachelor and introduce yourself.” the smile started to fade quickly because pain! so much pain!

Max  tilted her head lightly, as she wondered about the contractors for a minute, did that mean the house wasn’t finished? Her brow curved higher, great. Why was she there again? Oh yeah, sure The colonel, money. At the question which side she liked to sleep on made her think about it a moment. She barely slept with anyone in a bed, cause that meant it was serious so she usually claimed the middle… but in another life she had usually taking the left. “Left.” She answered after a long pause, offering the time to stall. ” Alrig’t, David.”  The brunette nodded and would move in to whisper something before she headed to the Bachelor, once he was done with Em.

David some more with a great big smile and a thumbs up!  He’d watch as Max made her way over and assuming the camera cut from him, though forgetting that his voice did carry “WHERE THE HELL IS MY PAIN MEDICINE!!! AND I FORGOT THE KEYS TO THE MANSION CAN SOMEONE TELL ALL THE LADIES THEY HAVE TO SLEEP OUTSIDE? WHERE IS MY DRIVER? MY PART IS DONE!”

Max  wiggled her fingers at David with a wink. Surely, that would work out on it’s own, she would bet money on it. gracefully, chin straight up she used those hips to get from David to Weaver, not without casting a glance to the lovely girls. Max had no preference that was for sure, but she was known to like the ladies as well as the men . Her hand would move forward so the Colonel could take it “Bonjou’ C’erie, I am Maxille Aumailley , but most call me Max.. pleasure to meet you.” A lovely charming smile offered like always, with a little bop of her head.

James  delicately captured her hand within his own and it was drawn to his face for that same tender kiss that he offered two of the three that had come before her. “It is a pleasure indeed, Max. So then, you are a French woman?” All while holding that same bright smile, his one eye assessed her face to take in all of those wonderful, foreign details.

Max watched that hand being taken and lifted to his lips, a warmer smile formed on those features, making her cheeks rounder and show the hint of dimples there. “Partly, Oui.” She nodded “T’oug’ it depends on w’o you are askin’…. My fat’er would deny it, and say we’re all Louisiana bred.” She chuckled lightly, her mother was French and it was the one to blame for the thick accent, though she never spoke much about her mother, so she dismissed it with her free hand a little. “So, little time, so many t’ings to explore.” She mused, her eyes trailing up and down with that same amused smile remaining on her lips. She maybe here for his dick, that was.

James  didn’t hold onto the womans’ hand any longer than he felt necessary. Only shortly after that kiss concluded did he let their hands drop back to their sides respectively, and both his hands resumed their former place atop that cane for support. “I’ve learned over the years that it’s best to not take people for their word. I’ve been around the world, I can see the French in you..hear it, even.” The way her eyes swept his figure hadn’t gone unnoticed, but he paid no mind to it and made sure that his eye was consistently leveled with that of hers in the most respectful fashion he could muster. He had a far easier time doing so with her than the woman before who was jumping to the point that her breasts bounced.

Max  was used of roaming eyes, and perhaps a little disappointment was there when he was polite enough not to, not that she bothered much over it, but it was a different reaction she had expected. “Hmmm.” she mused still as he spoke of her background “T’e accent is allurin’, never been able to s’ake it truly.” She licked her lips, to  hopefully draw them there, cause even with the lacking of bouncy breasts, she still had those plum lips that allured many. “Anyways.” the hand that had been taken by him, next to her side to play with golden jewels “Is t’ere anyt’ing specific you would like to know? Or.. are we goin’ to engage anot’er time and tread into more important details.. For example..” She pursed her lips “Your favorite.. Sexual position.” Yeah, she was all about that D. Couldn’t blame her, the reason she had signed herself up at left and if Kiyomi was watching from the other side of the world she would aim to make her jealous.

James did in fact get tricked into looking toward the womans’ lips as her tongue ran across them, but it wasn’t enough to twist his thoughts. He’d come into the show thinking that he was going to find some true love, not someone that just wanted his dick. Or money. Or both. You know, feelings and all that jazz. Little did he know. “I wouldn’t want you to shake the accent, I rather enjoy hearing you speak. It’s almost exotic, in a way.” Also happened to make him miss traveling the world like he used to do on a regular basis. “Anything specific?” He hummed softly and finally took a moment to look over her figure all the way from head to toe, but not so much to check her out as much that he just wanted to get a feel of who he was talking to. The inquiry about his favorite sexual position brought both brows to shoot up in surprise at how forward the woman was being. Only thing that made it more offputting to the man was the way he’d been nearly abstinent since his ex-wifes head was chopped off. “We..will talk about that. Over our date.” But would they really? Who knows.

Max  pursed those lips, exotic was a thing she heard a lot, though she didn’t mind, she rather ran with it. “Bien, t’en I won’t .. Monsieur James.” She offered him a light playful wink. Whether she was there for sex, money, or him.. or  all above she was always direct. Max was a woman that came with passion and lust, a certain hunger and temptation and if that fire couldn’t burn within the two of them …  She likely would be bored out of her mind way too soon and distract her perverse thoughts likely with the girls, if she managed that was.  She liked the surprise on his features, and nodded simply as he mentioned their date “Tre bien, per’aps we can do more t’an talkin’, non? I need some action, it’s important to me.” her hand reached out to rest on one of his arms, to squeeze it softly before she moved to get in line with the rest of the girls.

James at least didn’t budge away from his position as the woman continued coming onto him, far more strongly than any of the three before him. He was already putting together in the back of his mind how each of the dates would play out when they got around to that point, and it was honestly a little worrying for the old man. Yet he kept up those appearances, smile and all. “It’s a possibility.. but I wouldn’t get your hopes up.” He brushed one of his massive hands gently across hers when it came to squeeze against his arm, then did nothing to stop her from falling in line with the other women. A moment of silence was given for them to all get in place, and for his single eye to look over each of them once more for good measure. “It was wonderful to meet each and every one of you today. I can’t wait to see what we have in store for us next, and wish you all the best of luck in these coming days as we are sure to get to know each other.. on a much more intimate level.” He addressed them all at once then with a simple dip of his head, he turned to start out of the space from the same way in which he came, offering a simple wave of his hand and smile to them all before disappearing around the corner and being drove off.



As James walks away, the shot from the camera zooms away from him and the ladies, the music swelling as the ladies are left to converse with each other.  The credits roll and the camera completely cuts out.  After a short while someone from the production team joins the ladies to let them know that there is no way inside the mansion tonight but they will be bringing out cots and sleeping bags for their use outside.  Their luggage was lined up behind them against a wall outside in case they needed anything.  A portable toilet as well of course and finally, that dinner would be served soon… because those two things went together.

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