Just a Few Birds

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Warning: The following pictures are not suitable for those with weak stomachs

Young woman and dog were fatally attacked.

Just a few birds? Doesn’t seem so and just like out of Hitchcock’s famous thriller, The Birds, a woman was attacked while walking her dog early yesterday morning. They were found not long after sunrise near Hathian Motor’s new scrapyard – neither survived. Police say they are ruling out any sort of foul play since there was still cash in her wallet and her wedding ring remained. It was a ghastly scene and the supervising officer said the woman who called it in was taken to HGH to be treated for shock.

“She wasn’t making any kinna sense. Said them birds wouldn’t shoo and had red devil eyes or some such. I ain’t seen nothing like this before – ain’t seen so many different birds all working together, but these birds still ain’t nothing special”

He proved that point by shooting one down, bystanders cheering as the bird fell to the ground. When asked why they still hadn’t covered or retrieved the bodies, he explained they were waiting on the fire department to use the hose on the birds that were still circling the scrapyard.

“They ain’t go no fear. Shot three of ’em down and they still won’t shoo. [Expletive] start swarmin’ somethin’ fierce any time we go near the bodies”

Nothing special? Hathian Observer decided to call in to Columtreal’s resident ornithologist to ask what the birds were doing in Hathian and why the birds were attacking and if the city needed to be on alert.

“Not really. If you see them just keep on about your business and keep away from the flock. Keep your kids close when you trick-or-treat and don’t walk around with food around them”

She hypothesizes that super storm Sandy has caused several species to alter their migration patterns and many are now simply funneling through our fair city. Normally, this wouldn’t be too much an issue, but food sources are low here so they are showing more aggressive tendencies than normal.

“Who knows what they were guarding in that scrapyard, but they likely felt their food source was threatened. Maybe the dog was trying to get at them. Hard to say without any footage of the start of the attack. Once the woman and the dog went down, though, they became a food source as well. Those birds are likely still trying to get their bearing and regroup – they won’t let any food go without a fight. Everyone just needs to steer clear of them if they see them starting to swarm.” She also hypothesizes that they will be moving on by the time the weekend rolls around.

Both the young woman and the dog’s identity are being withheld until their next of kin can be notified. The birds can still be seen in that area, swooping at those who past by.

Have any usual bird incidents or pictures? Mail them in to be featured in our follow up article.

The scene was ghastly and injuries ranged from scratches and pecks to gauged eyes.
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