Personals for 04/10/2011

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◦ BABYSITTER FOR HIRE!! Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

◦ $$$ For Sale $$$ Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows f**king everything.

◦ Surgeon wanted for new health clinic opening. No experiance needed. Must have own tools.

◦ Selling FULL SIZE mattress, queen size, 20 year warrenty. Like new, slight urine smell.

◦ FOUND! Prosthetic leg. Slightly chewed, and missing a few toes. I better get a reward, you cripple.

◦ Free Urn: Had contained my pet dog, but my cat got suspicious and knocked it over. Still nice enough for another loved pet, or a mother-in-law, or relative of similar likings.

◦ !!WANTED!! Small asian, purple haired woman looking for whores,  sluts, and disease riddled skanks to join our union. Health benefits coming soon.

◦ Man missing. Tall, dark skin, dark hair. If you find him, you can keep him. He never does that thing I like in bed, but he’ll do it for some skinny, white girl.

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