By: Aithne
Ach, now listen to this, a right proper saga of St. Paddy’s Day gone bananas in Hathian!
So, I’d squeezed meself into this wee green and white number, a dress that’d make a leprechaun whistle, I swear! Looked like a blooming shamrock, I did! And, bein’ a true Irish lass, I was expectin’ a grand time, ya know? Kisses galore, roses piled up like turf, and maybe, just maybe, a wee gift of fancy knickers. What a fool I was! This is Hathian, where the only thing guaranteed is chaos.
Barely had I stepped up on tha boardwalk, all smiles and blarney, when BLAM! Officer Friendly, God love ‘im, be wavin’ his taser about like a magic wand, zappin’ some poor soul. Then, the two of ’em, rolling around on the floor like a pair of drunken ferrets fightin’ over a dropped chip while some other lass was gettin’ tha female cop feel up thing as she was cuffed! I nearly choked on me own spit! But then I grabbed me phone, and started snappin’ pictures. Gotta document the madness, don’t we? It’s Hathian tradition, three events in a row? Expect a brawl, it’s practically written in the stars.
Now, later I tried askin’ what the big hoo-ha was about, the takedowns, the arrests, all of it! Went down to the HPD station, but they gave me the usual runaround, like a cat chasin’ its tail. But hey, no ambulances were a’called, so I figured, “Ah, sure, it’s just Saturday in Hathian.”
The outfits, though, were a sight! A sea of green, like a field of emeralds after a good rain. And the snacks! Enough to feed a small army of hungry leprechauns. The Serpent’s Den booth, though, was a right hoot! St. Patrick be chasin’ snakes, and they’re all slither’n round.
So, by the end of it all, I was a wee bit disappointed. No kisses, no roses, and more coppers than craic. But, it was a good laugh, all the same. Here’s hopin’ next year, we can have a proper St. Paddy’s bash without the constabulary turnin’ it into a police procedural! And maybe, just maybe, I’ll finally get those knickers!
Sláinte!
