A first hand account by Sarah-Michelle Buffy Gage. ((Photos by Darkstalker Darkfold))

Hey, guys.

Buffy here reporting on the events that went down on the CU campus recently. I mean, seriously, who thought a multi-agency test drill was a good idea? Oh yeah, that was me! But I didn’t expect the big surprise reveal at the end.

I commend the school’s policy of locking down immediately in the face of danger, but come on, let’s not actually put our students in harm’s way, which is sorta’ what happened.

A Campus Security Drill

Sunday 28th May saw a security lockdown on the Columtreal University (CU) campus in the college town of Columtreal, in Black Bottom parish.

This was a multi-agency test drill conducted by the Hathian Police department (HPD), in conjuction with Columtreal University Police Department (CUPD), Hathian General Hospital (HGH), Fire Department of Hathian (FDH) and the CU campus clinic.

CU has a policy that if guns are used on the campus, for the safety of the students and faculty, an immediate multi-agency lockdown will occur and this drill was to thoroughly test the policy.

But what went wrong

I, CU Cheer Captain Sarah-Michelle Buffy Gage, was co-ordinating the event as the campus liaison and had met with the emergency services prior and we had planned the drill carefully. Things were going smoothly and according to the plan until the guns started blastin’. I told everyone to take cover in the classrooms, but some people bolted. I was told it was just a simulation, but there were people bleeding like crazy! Thank goodness none of our students got hurt. They told me no one would be in a dangerous sitch, but someone was actually firing real bullets!

Anyway, things went wrong pretty quickly when the fake gunshots turned out to be real. I followed the plan in place, but chaos ensued. Thankfully, my quick thinking saved my boyfriend and me from being shot by turning on the gas taps in the science lab and keeping the big bad’s out. It was a close call, but we made it out alive.

The shooters instead tried to wait us out as gas filled the room, but then were overcome by the rescuers who saved us!

Head of CU Clinic Involved In Encouraging Shooters?

Now, the blame game is going around with some accusing the CU clinic chief, Zofia Lewandowska, of brainwashing the shooters with experimental therapies by some on social media. She stated We worked on therapy with two inmates day before, it was focused against violence. And people now blaming me and the clinic. HPD, gangs even my friends!” She said she’s had to step down from the role due to the publicity “It’s bad. But seems gangs want my head, some police officers too and my friends think I’m a monster!”

FDH Lieutenant Dale “Cosmo” Warrhol stated “We planned a safe drill with FDH on standby and two rogue elements inserted themselves into the mix and tragically sabotaged a well laid and safe plan” when I pressed him on the rumours he added “Rumours are rumours and I cannot comment on them. Fire Department Hathian coordinated a safety drill with Hathian Police Department and Columtreal University and it was planned safely. If CU clinic did such a thing, we had no prior and have no current knowledge of it.”

Rejects involved?

One of those involved in the shooting, self-confessed Reject Zariah Scott, stated she’d been asked to join in the drill by HPD Lieutenant Landon Fyre. “All I know is Landon told me to grab a gun from officer NPC Doofy at the office and go in and pretend to be a shooter. Then come to find out he gave real guns with real bullets and set them free inside (them being named as Charlie and Em Bundy). Then come to find out from Landon he knew about it and then that Zofia woman the clinic chick was in on it said she did experiments on them for Landon and so god only knows what they did. Landon never denied any of it.” She added “I thought we were just there to scare you but you know maybe we were the targets?”

I also managed to catch up with Em Bundy, one of those accused of using a real gun and real bullets alongside her partner Charlie who I encountered during the drill. Whilst I wasn’t able to interview Charlie, during the drill he seemed like he wasn’t aware of his surroundings, and referred to “the Cong” like he was an extra in a Vietnnam war movie. Em claims she and Charlie were taken to the CU clinic the day before the shooting, and can’t remember anything else except feeling well rested and that Zofia was very concerned for her welfare. “The friendly Mr. Landon took us to the clinic. The pawn shop was raided by the police that day. Completely unjustified of course! But I don’t blame Mr.Landon for that. I mean he and Liz are different from the other police officers, they are good people. I’m sure he was just trying to protect me and Charlie, that’s why he took us to the clinic instead of jail like the others.”

When I asked her why she thought it was only Rejects who ended up shot in the incident, Em added “I don’t think it’s that unusual that these people were the only ones who apparently got shot. As I said, these people are terrorizing the whole town. they surely have many enemies.”

Lastly I spoke to the HPD officer in charge, Corporal Landon Fyre, and presented him with the rumours; “Everything you witnessed here, was a joint training exercise at a scale Hathian has never experienced before. It involved HPD, FDH, CUPD, the campus clinic and the Columtreal faculty itself. All precautions were taken to ensure the safety of those students whom volunteered to attend and I can proudly state, no students were harmed during this exercise.”

A thrilling conclusion but questions remain

So what’s the sitch, constant readers?

Is this a conspiracy concocted by the HPD brass to eliminate some enemy gang members after they told me students safety was the priority as the rumours state? No students were ever hurt in the drill so Corporal Fyre kept his word to the university.

Did gangs really aim to terrify the students? It seemed some gang members carried real bullets but others didn’t, like some kind of messed up lottery.

And how was the CU clinic involved? Zofia has admitted to experimenting on Em and Charlie Bundy, but stated these were for good intentions, so why did Charlie and Em act like they were in a war zone?

To finish, Corporal Fyre said “I’ve been hearing the talk around town with some claiming that I’m pitting dangerous gang members against one another. Were that the case, there are those who’d say I’m doing this town a service by thinning out their numbers. These idle speculations are a distraction from the monumental success that was our first interdepartmental exercise, our emergency services are coordinating better and responding sooner to critical events as a consequence.”

As ever readers, nothing in Hathian is as it seems. So watch your back. Carry protection.

But not openly…