Dravonicci Shoots His Load

2 mins read

By Kay Oss.

The peaceful streets of Hathian were disrupted on Saturday night/Sunday morning when a shooter decided to empty his load into unsuspecting police officers. The shooter, Derek Dravonicci, 59, seems to have ended his recent crime spree by taking on Hathian’s not so finest officers. The lovely ladies of the Titty Twister were all shepherded to relative safety, and reports say there were free lapdances offered in payment to the officers who removed them from the scene.

A source has confirmed that this latest attack was after finding out Hathian Police Department officers were guilty of the sexual assault of his girlfriend who had been arrested twelve hours prior.

Dravonicci is accused of various crimes recently including the shooting of one girl and the rape of another in Lou’s bar, a week ago. This of course has gone unproven, for now, as no arrests have been made and the HPD has not been approached to validate these wild accusations.

The fault though, cannot be placed on this elderly man’s shoulders but it could be deemed that the Mental Health care provided by this country is in fact to blame. A source claimes that Dravonicci, has several mental health conditions, some provided by the HPD themselves in their vile and rough treatment of him whilst in their care. The source claimed that, unfortunately, he did not know what had happened to the alleged victims of his alleged crimes.

Dravonicci is currently in intensive care, the police claim they had managed to arrest the man whilst he was comatose, and that it is legal. Even his next of kin cannot be informed of his state of health as the police are unwilling to release his cellphone to call his family to rally around a dying man.

This is another story of an innocent Hathianite, driven to depraved acts as a result of the rampant crimes in this city. When will the carnage end?



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