Mayor Bobby Boxer’s Cocaine Crash

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Yesterday, The Observer was approached by an anonymous source claiming to have proof that the mayor of Hathian, Robert “Bobby” Boxer, is a crack head.

This source, claiming to be the mayor’s drug dealer, said he had video of the man smoking crack cocaine, and offered to sell the newspaper the video for a thousand dollars. But thanks to Boxer’s stingy funding of public services, The Observer was unable to obtain the footage.

However, the source did let the editor of the paper, as well as a reporter, watch the video several times.

“I watched the 60 second clip about four times,” says Observer reporter, Indiana Worthington. “I know Boxer well, and it’s obvious that it’s him in the video.”

The one minute video shows a man who appears to be Boxer smoking from a crack pipe, but even with the physical similarities, the mayor says the accusations are ridiculous.

“While it doesn’t take a genius to run a city full of idiots, I’m not stupid enough to do something like that,” says Boxer. “I’ve never smoked crack, and it’s my word against some drug dealer’s.”

The Observer is still trying to get a hold of the footage from the anonymous source in order to provide proof of these claims.

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