◦ $$$ Prosthetic ass for sale. Partially used, hollow inside, good for carrying shit. $$$
◦ Selling my old Star Wars figurines; Jar Jar Binx, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Princess Leia, but not Boba Fett. No matter how sure I am, I never risk the Fett man.
◦ Looking for woman for date this Wednesday night. I have four hours before I have to call my doctor, so let’s make the best of it.
◦ Used toilet for sale. A little dirty, and it leaked and overflowed last time it was used. My son stuffed an action figure down it, so if anyone picks this up and fixes it, can you drop the action figure back off at my house? My son would really appreciate it. Thanks.
◦ Pugdy, black news reporter looking for skinny, white male to butter her muffin.
◦ Missing: One cigar, looking for someone to give me a cavity search. Must have warm hands.
◦ Looking for elderly man to play out my fantasy. MUST be jolly and fat, and have a white beard. Red suit provided. Anyone under the age of 60 need not apply.
◦ DOG FOR SALE!! He doesn’t do much, and he’s really old, and has smelly dog farts and heart worms, but.. Well, don’t really have anything good to say about him. I just don’t want him anymore.