By: Daiyu Tang
They say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. This, after three years, is, I can confirm… in many ways bullshit. Our flaws, insecurities and neuroses build up and grow in new directions, ever seeking to tug down the foundations that we build.
We see things, read things and sadly often experience them. Exacerbated by the violence and thoughtlessness perpetrated in Hathian our flaws grow… Yes, your scars may be armour, but for every strike of hurt registered against you, then if you survive, it would disingenuous to say you’ve not changed.
Many of these changes are not for the best and many in Hathian know of someone who started with ideals and hopes and dreams who later became something worse. Maybe in a macabre way we live in the machine and it grinds and chews and eventually spits out figures in the shape of Carter, or Tabitha or others, ghosts to frighten us with and figures to loathe (or secretly admire perhaps) for their exploits. These are figures that haunt Hathian by their violence and appetites yet… yet, when delved into, have qualities or stories that may explain parts of their trauma.
Trauma. An ugly word, yet as I write this, seemingly secure in my knowledge that I am not yet moulded into the shape that this Ouruborus of violence could make anyone, I feel it. I feel trauma from covering the flaming bodies thrown from HGH… I feel trauma from the countless corpses in the Backwaters and I feel trauma for the sexual violence and predation applied and perpetrated without distinction on the men and women of the town. Reflecting, I find it doesn’t matter whether you are Tori and thrown from a roof, or a Reject and shot, or an officer and murdered… you are traumatised and Every.Single.Coping Mechanism that you have devised is a mask. Then of course there’s those like Zoey… the mask is openly worn to hide the predator underneath, so whether victim or victimised all your trauma flows into the drains of Hathian and feeds the sin that lies beneath these streets.
Friendship. In a city where hope isn’t even always on the end of a 911 call and where even those officers who wish to provide the best care they can are ‘fair game’, who can you trust to try and lead you away from trauma and find joy for you? Your friends. Your family. Yourself. And… forgive me for the indulgence but I’d like to think the Hathian Observer… in its’ own way…
All Good Things
We’ve had a Hathian ‘Next Top Model‘ before and this city has seen beauty contests, talent shows, art displays and more. Whether good or bad, someone will give it their all and try and create a (terrifyingly) good / ‘good’ time for others.
So, all good things, they come to an end and so as my internship with the Hathian Observer draws to a close with the summer exams fast approaching that mark the end of my time with Columtreal and a foray into the wide world I can look back at trauma, feel my scars, but look forward. Someone, somewhere, will try and create a (hopefully) good time for me and, with friends, family and many of you, I am sure that not only will I thrive in future endeavours, but so will the Observer.
Therefore, channelling the best of what we can do applications are now open for the next Hathian Observer intern or, failing that, someone needing work experience and not afraid to graft. Yes, on a few adverts I’ve joked that my boss is just looking for a large rack and willingness to have flexible morals, but in life, everything is a compromise. I’ve got neither of those attributes, yet what I have is a willingness to go after people who are scary to find our more. To do my job. To give you news. To, paraphrasing… ‘Boldy Go Where no Stanley Has Gone Before’.
And this time I go through exams and into the future and… if the real world pays just as shit as my current job, then who knows, maybe I’ll avail myself of the freelancer rates that are always better than the actual staff rates!
How to Enter
Applications for the Observer Internship should be made to myself, or via your Academic Tutor in CU. If you believe that your life experience qualifies you (and you can accept our ‘pay’ levels) then please also reach out. A full induction to the successful candidate is on offer covering our technical, commercial and journalistic skills. Further details available on inquiry!
This isn’t a final goodbye Hathian, after all if someone isn’t here to turn the presses on for a few more months those of you who use the Observer to stock their toilet paper shelves (I see you Andy at Rag Dollar) will be out of business. But times change and I’ll be honest to you dear readers, I, the Girl Behind the Lens, will become the Victim Behind the Headline if I don’t graduate and move on. No one would want that new moniker for me right? (Don’t answer if you disagree. Asses)
((NC or DM FaithTang.Resident for further details! Co/Full Lead available subject to sim staff approval!))
