By: Shilo Casen – Guest Columnist
Editor’s note: As always, we are interested in seeing what aspiring citizens can achieve with their journalistic endeavours. So if you’ve seen a story, bring it to the Observer and we can review freelance rates, or if you’re keen explore more permanent employment options!
Ambulance Chasing
It was a normal Wednesday, typical for Hathian when I was riding around mid morning with a friend. Anyway, you know how they call lawyers “ambulance chasers”? Well… citizen journalism can do it as well! I told Lacey to stop as FDH blew past us. “Hey that’s Rog!” I said, “let’s follow him!“. I hopped out and after a bit of light footwork, discovered a gruesome scene over at the Titty Twister. As I understood it, a man named ‘Shades‘ allegedly got into an altercation with someone and was shot twice, fell down the TT stairs, bleeding, miraculously got up and started to attack the employees. I thought this sounded ‘So Hathian’ that I tracked down TT employees and was able to get these statements, just like real journalism!
Shilo: “First of all thank you for agreeing to speak with me, kindly walk me through what happened if you can?”
Twister Employee Liam: “So basically, I was just downstairs talking to the ((NPC)) bartender and we hear gunshots coming from upstairs! I still don’t know if anyone upstairs was hurt. I haven’t heard anything. You probably know more than I do!”
After a short pause where I made sure Liam was ok to continue he went on:
Liam: “So anyway, this guy literally falls down the stairs already bleeding all to hell from who knows what. And by the time I get over to him, he’s stabbing me in the leg. And we start fighting, the bartender calls the cops, I get stabbed in the side and the neck and dude is strangling me… I’m punching and kicking and head butting and doing whatever I can because… well I didn’t have time to grab a weapon and I couldn’t reach anything where we were standing… but luckily someone smashed him with a beer bottle and my friend jumped on him and started eating his neck for lunch…. and then I tackled him and he went down…and finally the cops got there. And that’s about it. I think it was some kind of domestic issue or something because he asked ‘where is she’ when he got there…so might be one of the strippers guys or has a crush or something”
Shilo: “I see, who was it who hit him with a beer bottle? It sounds pretty awesome, jumping on him and biting!”
Anonymous female: “I smashed the bottle of cheap whiskey over his head and bit him. He was attacking Liam, I had to try and stop him. I only wanted to make him stop attacking, I also tried kicking his arm with the knife hand. I was told yesterday the man is known as Shades around Laveau, a deputy or something. He took someone down there, a man from the motel. I don’t know if it is related.”
I will try and interview Shades! Updates to follow!
FDH paramedics declined to comment.
