by Zofia Lewandowska
Life is the University
I live on campus at Columtreal and often attend classes with students, even though I am not a student. It makes sense, we are all learning something all our lives, and those who close their eyes and refuse to learn can stand back and be left behind. Life is one big university we live in, but some university students misbehave and are criminals and may even murder others. That’s when law enforcement steps in and investigators try to find out who is behind it and try to find the person responsible to prevent them from hurting other people.
How do you find and convict a murderer? The answer is simple! Forensic analysis.
Forensics analysis class and new professor in the University
To clarify the previous point, the answer may be simple, but forensics is hellishly complex! I’m a trained medical professional, but even I found it difficult to work with and properly use all those complicated evidence gathering tools.
Let’s move on and get back to teaching. At CU, we have a new professor, Blossom Szaberwick, who has brought a new class of forensics courses to our university.
The first part of the course was really interesting and it was evident in the large audience, the class was full and some students had to stand. I didn’t, I came almost first because I was so curious. Professor Szaberwick explained all the tools and procedures for gathering evidence and what to watch out for and what to do and what not to do, and we were able to try out all the equipment on a specific case based on a real case of someone who had been killed in a library some time ago!
It was a good class and the most shocking thing on the end
Interesting Homework and Class Goal
Most courses and classes give those who take them homework, which is usually boring and no one wants to do it, but this was different. What did Professor Szaberwick ask us? Hold on, readers. The assignment for her class series is…. the plan for her perfect murder! The murder of Professor Szaberwick! Get ready and plan it so no one finds out. Madness? Well, considering how close we are to Hathian, I’d be afraid to say that wish out loud. But it’s part of education and very original, so let’s see how the students handle such a task.
Let’s go to the end of the article… I couldn’t resist asking Blossom for an interview and she agreed…
Interview with Blossom
I met Blossom at Bleu Wau, a nice bistro on campus. It’s a nice place to talk, only Blossom was clearly offended after visiting Laveau when she mentioned that she wouldn’t be showing up there any time soon.
Zofia “Blossom Thank you again for taking the time to see me. As you may know, I work for the Observer and would love to interview you. To ask you a few questions about you and your interesting criminology class, if I may.”
Blossom “My course, yes – I’m looking forward tot the questions.”
Zofia “How do you like the university and where do you come from?”
Blossom “I’m from the UK. From Yorkshire specifically. I used to be a Police Detective but retrained in forensics. CU is really great and thankfully there has been a lot of interest in my class which is great to see as well!”
Zofia “Your class is great! And UK is a nice place. I was in the London once, it was good trip. Blossom. Whats are your most favorite places in campus and Hathian, we met in the sport bar LockNLoad, but did you have time to visit more places?”
Blossom “Thank you, Zofia. I’m pleased to hear you enjoyed London; it truly is a city like no other. Ah, my favorite places on campus? To be honest I am still finding my way around but there’s a great coffee shop, erm Woke. Oh and the Bubble Tea place is awesome”
Zofia “That’s nice. Where else to start the day but Woke!”
“When and why you got the idea of work on the criminology class in campus? What was the main motive and what gave you strength?”
Blossom “I actually came here with the intention of joining Law Enorcement, but due to some administrative issues, that was delayed and I was approached by the College to teach some courses. I remember finding some of the studying I did quite dull so I wanted to find an accessible way of inspiring students to look at forensic sciences and criminology as worthwhile subjects. So my course is built around my students planning to kill me!”
Zofia “Thank you, Blossom. Im sure you will be able soon join the CUPD! And you’re moving on to my next question. As you said the main task for your students is to plan a murder. Your murder. That is the goal of your courses. Aren’t you worried about giving your students such a task so close to Hathian? Do you know that some people might take homework the wrong way?”
Blossom “I think it gives the course a fun element and a great motivation for taking in the information. I think you have to give students the benefit of the doubt, in that I am sure they aren’t going to try and ACTUALLY kill me. It’s an interesting study for me too, to see which ways criminals may use to go undetected!”
Zofia “You are interesting person Blossom and you do amazing work. Indeed it is not about real killing, it is about planning it. My last questions. What things you like and what things you hate mostly? And whats are your plans after the course when you become member of the police department?”
Blossom “I hve recently started consulting for CUPD, so that may be enough for me at the moment as I am enjoying teaching and would like to carry it on if enough people were interested to build a full curriculum. I like all sorts – outside of Forensics and Criminology, I’ve recently decided I will learn how to shoot which will be fun. Hate? Thats a strong word but I have come across a lot of fucked up.. er I mean.. distressing things in my career and what people can do to each other is baffling. I hate that I can only help AFTER someone has already been hurt I think.”
We’re at the end of my report. I hope you enjoyed it and that it motivates you to attend the classes and courses that Columtreal University offers. In closing, I might add some advice: did you know that most murderers eat meat? And that vegetarians are more peaceful? If we were all vegetarians. Blossom would be out of a job. Think about it!