Traditional Fires Light Hathian Christmas Feast

2 mins read

On December 19th, residents come together in the spirit of holiday cheer for the Hathian Christmas Feast.  The corner of King St. and Hathian Hwy is the sight of dining and festivities.

The Daily Grind, Gein Burger, Slim Goodies, Pie Hole, and LL Warehouses load picnic tables with food: hamburger pillars, deep stacks of fries, overstuffed turkeys, and other traditional side dishes. Lou’s Bar and the Titty Twister sling drinks from a mobile tiki shack. The Clam Convenience Store provides warm cocoa and apple cider. 

Crowds converge mainly around tables and a yule log dumpster fire. Admirers of the yule fire state it is especially fitting for Hathian. Three stockings to honor Hathian’s hardest working citizens, (Nurse Bertha, Officer Porkins, and Mayor Bobby Boxer,) hang from a discarded antenna and old rod.

In the middle of the holiday affair a prominent Christmas Tree, a donation by the Hathian Theater, looms over all. Though majestic in height, its branches appear a bit bare and its needles brown. Lights, a gift from 24 Hour Pawn, wrap around dry branches. A star on top, with a depiction of Columtreal University’s Looter mascot in a Santa outfit, shines.

At 3:00 in the afternoon, Pink announces the ceremonial Christmas Tree lighting to all. With sparks from a nearby transformer, lights flicker to life. A positive charge and smoke of burning plastic soon fills in the air. In a rush, the scene heats up as the tree ignites! The tree explodes in flames that reach the tree’s height.

Feast goers panic and clear a distance; some call for marshmallows while others casually jest this tragedy is a classic expectation within Hathian. 

Before the fire grows out of hand, the Christmas lights are unplugged. The weather, a mix of mist and rain, diminishes the flames. Soon all that remains is a pile of ash and a burned out husk of blackened branches and trunk.

Festivities resumed as normal until closing at 5:00 PM.

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