By: Louis Dupuis
HPD officers were dispatched to a chaotic scene outside of Chartbusters, off King’s Street, Hathian, encountering a man dressed as a cow and two gang members who were in flight when the HPD showed up.
The man in the cow suit, identified as Wilbur Fitzgerald, a former gang member of the Nightmen Crew, was posited outside on the ground near the DVD rental store. Mr. Fitzgerald appeared to be under the influence of drugs and had also peed himself in his costume, leaving officers with a clean-up job since the two gang members by the DVD store had run off.
EMS were called and treated Mr. Fitzgerald who was subdued by tranquilizer after becoming aggressive and resistant to help. Officer Gina Esparza, a newly promoted officer, broke down the scene:
“The man was intoxicated and aggressive. We had to subdue him via a taser. He stank, of course, because he relieved himself in his suit once tasered. He had not much to say in the way of why he was outside of Chartbusters in a cow suit, but he was on drugs and this is why you don’t do them, OK? Because you might find yourself in a cow suit, thinking your udders need to get milked or something, while gang members approach you and freak out because they’ve never even been to a farm let alone seen a real live cow in the city. Not around these parts. That just doesn’t happen.“
“Do I feel like Mr. Fitzgerald was trying to broaden his perspective, possibly suffering from an existential crisis? Yeah. I don’t know why a cow in this instance but why not a cow? I mean, really, when it comes down to it, maybe he just needs to be put out in a pasture and allowed to graze.”
Gina Esparaza
This kind of free-range thinking has made the officer one to think outside the box. The Observer witnessed her creative problem-solving skills in subduing Fitzgerald, manoeuvring in a way that enabled herself and the other officers, Redfeather and Eldritch, to cuff the man and see he received his treatment.
“It was difficult to apprehend the gang members who fled since Mr. Fitzgerald was obstructing our access to them and I had to deal with him while the two slipped away. My officers were also catching up but thought better of pursuing since around the corner, there was a mixture of more gang members and civilians, and we did not want to endanger anyone.” Esparza added, “…the pair was kicking him and trying to drag him off, maybe to the butcher?” she explained about the gang members attempting to drag Fitzgerald.
Just an unlucky cow on a bad trip or was Mr. Fitzgerald lurking by the DVD store for a particular reason? Maybe he was there to return a movie? Gang turf on King’s Street has been dominated by a few players over the years-from Rejects who historically have always been out there, to Bones members who have now vacated the area, to others.
Maybe this was a challenge, carried out by one subversive drug addict.
