By: Carly Cox / Advice Columnist ((Please assume censoring of nipples and so on has happened ICLY))
Yes, you read that right, I am trying to get it ‘Up the Duff’, to ‘Harbour a Fugitive’, getting some ‘Bacon in the Drawer’ by getting ‘Stung by a Serpent‘.. or, in layman’s terms, getting ‘Knocked Up‘.
In true Carly Cox style, I am therefore broadly and publicly advertising for hot studs with good genes and a hard-on for sexy blond women with a great rack, and an even greater appetite for getting bred. I am simply putting my fertility up for auction… Just with different auction rules than normal. Hell in fact, I’d be more inclined to call it a ‘Casting Call‘.
The thing is, I don’t want just any guy out there to pump my belly full of his seed, and I will be picky about the man I choose (for once). I don’t want the risk of my kid ending up looking like Bryce Canden, who likely went white haired at the age of 12 and got bullied throughout school because of it. No, I want sperm with great genes, delivered the old fashioned way.
The Rules:
- I will pick the donor myself, and he will be allowed to have as much sex as he wants with me, throughout my ovulation phase, as long as he drops his load in my vagina a minimum of three times during this period.
- He is not required to be a factor in the childs life, but if he wants to, that’s a plus.
- There is no reclamation, once the bun is in the oven, it stays there until baked.
- Unlike traditional auctions, you don’t bid money, but your genes in form of semen.
- I will ridicule him in the ‘Observer’ if it turns out he is shooting blanks.
How to enter: (The auction, not the vagina)
- Submit a photo showing off your genes.
- Let me know if you want to just spread your sperm and move on, or be a real dad.
- List your education level or IQ.
And that’s all there is to it.
((You can submit a notecard in-world, or some info/pic on Discord))
Oh and for additional spicy pictures if you want to get a bit more knowledge of what you’re getting? Reach out to me!
