By: Maja – Gossip Contributor
Its that time of the week again for those of us MIA!
Today’s article is going to be focusing on a long standing poofy haired member of Hathian. Yes, the man of Gein Pickle Fame! This man has been on our streets for some years, went to high school here and is even a respected junior member of the FDH. But this question we should ask is… ‘who is he really?’ (And is he even respectable?)
Yes I am of course talking about notorious sex pest and lecher Emeric “Corbin” LaSalle. Emmy, Cornbin, Mid tier Cornholio, “Its Corbin Time” (something the man is known to shout loudly when aroused)… He’s also known as Pickle and all these are the names that have become commonly associated with the man who ‘serves‘ our fair city. Those more familiar with Corbin and his reputation will know his record has remained fairly spotless with the HPD. While he seems to have kept the cops at bay, his long running feud and intimate relationship with the ‘Irish minx Murphy’ (his words folks) has kept the town buzzing… This is despite calling the woman out on a since deleted tweet.
This goes alongside him joining the ranks of Hathian’s chubby chasers as he has oft been seen in quiet and intimate spaces with long term friend with benefits Valentia Pearl who is rumoured to be having a first child with ‘Cornholio’.
But more likely this already odd throuple has only arisen because of Corbin’s complete lack of care in whatever satisfies his base urges.
This photo, found at notgaybutbearsarecute.com (Watch out Sargent Bear!) and mildly edited for publication, (although perhaps we should of edited some muscle definition on the man, talk about doughy white boy) seems to paint a picture that Corbin represents a modern, and evolved man… I JEST!
The real truth is that dear Emeric only cares for what satisfies his desires at the moment.
The account the photo was found on was using the name “ThickDickEmeric” (Classic example of why you shouldn’t use your name for those websites people!) and listed a location as Hathian! Obvious or what!?
No once again Hathian’s corruption and its influence has penetrated deep into another poor soul: Corbin’s soul.
Reports abound in the red light district of a man with insatiable desire for cruelty and violence. According to those that were brave enough to come forward to report on Emeric’s sick and twisted fantasies, they report feeling unsafe, some report being forced to take something that Mr LaSalle forced upon them that left them defenceless and drowsy. There is one thing however, that all of Corbin’s many victims have in common in their reports, Meth.
Corbin is not only someone obsessed with the carnal pleasures of the flesh but those of the more pharmaceutical kind. Everyone I interviewed for this article all had the same experience when it came to drugs with Corbin. What was that you ask? Well it was his consistent attempts to push methamphetamines on anyone around him! Meth, Meth, Meth… This became such a persistent part of Corbin’s personality, as evidenced in interviews, that one of the people I interacted with… another one of Corbin’s victims, said he played a game to see how quickly Corbin would bring drugs up in a conversation. He reports that Corbin forcibly grabbed the his face stared them in the eyes and just said “Meth” in a reported deeply offensive attempt at a Jamaican accent. So almost from the get-go then!
Emeric (a name he doesn’t want to have used), is seemingly deeply proud of his abuse and manufacturing of narcotics. It’s a question for the FDH and HPD how Corbin has been allowed to start and maintain this manufacture of illicit substances right under their noses! Then again, Corbin’s track records for sadism and general lack of care for peoples autonomy points to a man who is more than happy to manipulate and bully those around him to get what he wants. It is this columnists’ sad duty to report that it seems gang mentality has taken root within the FDH, with Emeric at the centre like a doughy spider!
Rumours have persisted of Corbin abusing his position as a trusted member of the FDH to work behind the scenes and bully those who serve dutifully alongside him. Forcing (mostly unwillingly) those along with him into taking a blind eye to his actions or even becoming runners for the wannabe kingpin whose ambitions seem to only grow.
One of Corbin’s many victims admitted that during a particularly intense usage of his own substance Emeric “Ripped off his pants urinated in a bottle he found on the ground And then poured it all over himself while screaming at the sky, before calling himself ‘King Of Hathian’ and declaring war on all the gangs in Hathian” Mr LaSalle apparently later added that “He didn’t care if it put a target on his back, he’d punch Charlie [Bundy] right in his ‘smug cunt face’ cos he’s not that tough!”
I know it was a long one today dear readers but this man is such a befoulment on our city that it required just that much extra to fully cover the breadth of this mans depravity, and i for one am proud on exposing one of the many cancers masked in anonymity.
This is Maja, signing off!
Editorial Note: The Hathian Observer while accepting of gossip as part of keeping Hathian entertained and potentially finding new stories wishes it to be noted that assumed drug taking (even copious amounts of meth) still requires a police investigation and conviction. Innocent before Guilty and all that. Whether Meth or Crack it’s a police matter. With respect to his carnal life, then as long as all consent and it’s not illegal then as long as Corbin bangs consenting Chubbys like Elben (even if high) then we are an accepting and tolerant society in Hathian. So yes, Corbin’s snorting in the line of FDH is gossip, one suspects that the once lowly fry-chef might not be ALL he’s cooked up to be by Maja. – Daiyu
((Maja is a player. Posted with OOC consent))
