Dressed in my cheerleader duds, my hair in pigtails I hurriedly walked away from the festivities and the greased up cheer captain. I had an opportunity to meet up with a long time friend who I had known a long time, we had shared memories over many years. We talked about everything together, but this time we delved into the topic of fantasy.
Friend: “Holy fuck that outfit!” and she bit her knuckles in mock excitement as if I was a popstar.
I laughed but she continued…
Friend: “I cant help but think of you being taken by a team of hung sportsmen with that outfit on. Their hands all groping and picking you up. So many guys its almost hard to spot you through the crowd except your legs poking out, your moans and occasionally a gap where you can see your pretty face blushing as you suck on a thick shaft”.
She smiled at me, seeing what my reaction would be. I confess I had also had a smile on my face. It was good to fantasize from time to time… wasn’t it? But she wasn’t done yet.
Friend: “And then some guy will move his cock into your vicinity. He’s going to tug on those braids, wrap them around his fists and push you down… That’s why you’re dressing like that right?” She laughed, seeing the effect she was having on me as I drifted into my own imagination and recreation of her words. But again, a barrier was thrown up… both literally and figuratively:
B: “But I’m a virgin so no sex yet! Fantasy is fine, but yeah…”
Friend: “Dayum! That would be a bit of a corrupting first experience wouldn’t it?”
And I thought on it. Am I ready to be corrupted or have I already lost that battle? I am guilty in my thoughts thinking just as Christina, fantasizing, touching, craving. What if virginity is more than just my body but is equally the physical, the mental and the spiritual.
Slowly I begin to understand the more information I get the more the mystery is revealed and in a subtle way, some innocence has slowly drained away.
(The Editorial Board and staff of the Observer note that this article is the view of the author and doesn’t necessarily reflect our editorial positions.)
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