Known criminal brutally stabs Mayor of Hathian.

4 mins read

On the eve of Friday, December 16, 2016, Mayor Nick Matfield was stabbed multiple times by known criminal Ellis Millet. The week following the grizzly attack, the Observer sat down with the Mayor so that he could relay the story of this traumatic event.

The Observer: Can you also tell me what exactly happened that night?”

Mayor Matfield: I was about to cross the street to my theater. Ellis ran up to me ranting about something. I wished him a blessed day. He started to become unhinged and stabbed me repeatedly. Said he would murder me and my whole family.

Observer: Wow. I’m sorry this happened to you. Do you know what his motives were behind the attack?

Mayor Matfield: Ellis has hated me because I’ve never been afraid to stand up to him. I’ve always been the first to call him out about his child abuse and criminal activities. There’s also the matter of me being younger, smarter, better looking and generally more successful. This is not the first time that man has been cruel to me. He has been obsessed with me for quite some time.

Observer: Is he is in custody? To stab an esteemed public figure and threaten their family is appalling.

Mayor Matfield: He’s currently in custody.

Observer: You also have children, right? And a husband? Is it possible this is a hate crime for your sexual orientation?

Mayor Matfield: I do have children. Three beautiful children. And a wonderful husband. My husband is a well-respected HPD officer. Well, yes, Ellis did call me a few gay slurs, but I’ve gotten used to that from him. The man’s hatred knows no bounds.

Observer: I’m sorry you must deal with such hatred. What a tragedy. Is there any other information you can give me?

Mayor Matfield: Ellis tried to murder my beloved sister, Ellie Vond for no reason. Two of his children, Ryder and Buffy, have been in, or are currently in, juvie. All the others hate him. He’s jealous of my wonderful and happy life. Due to my faith in Christ, I forgive him and wish him peace. It’s sad that he has turned out to be such a worthless waste of air. It’s my Christian duty to pray for the wicked, pathetic and twisted among us. If there’s nothing else, may God bless and keep you.

Observer: No sir that is all! God bless and Merry Christmas!

Officer Lian Matfield, the mayor’s esteemed husband, stated, “When someone goes out of their way to harm the mayor for the same reasons, for me it’s a little more personal as that’s my husband. So, whether Ellis turned himself in to try to alleviate his guilt that only lessens his guilt in the eyes of the law when he goes searching for a plea deal. He won’t find any such deals with me.” With Millet in custody of Hathian’s finest; happy families everywhere could feel safe during the holiday season. A welcomed, yet too brief break from the havoc caused by Millet on the streets of Hathian.

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