University Primed to Open

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Black Bottom– School officials have begun the inaugural class enrolment at the newly built Columtreal University.  This new freshman class is said to bring new lively hood to the city as well as much needed tax dollars.  With the economy on the down turn many local citizens have wondered what would happen to this small town if no new revenue was brought forth to help inflating cost of social services.

When asked opinions on the matter answers ranged widely, one citizen said “its about time i have somewhere else to pick up men.”  When asked specifically on the feeling of having a new local revenue stream, the same citizen responded ” yay, someone to beat up, yeah, keep em coming, it keeps me working.”

Seemingly another local business manager replied with the following “I look at it as new life, new blood for the streets, sometimes literally, and possibly new positions down the road, in the long run.”

“Beer, tits and ass.. what more could a man ask for” an local official said as he was caught leaving the local massage parlor.  It seems that the severe cases of Vagina Denta seem to be rumor and urban legend to some.

Regardless on personal feelings about the new opening it seems that expectations are high.  What remains to be seen is if the new influx will also bring about a new crime wave, or a surge in violence over the new black market.

Local officials state that the University will officially open in the next few weeks.  One thing is for sure, new young minds will soon be entering our beloved town fresh for molding, One can only hope that there is a strong influence to keep the minds from getting moldy

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