I have been reading your advice for some time now. I never thought I’d write to a total stranger to get advice. But, here I am. I have been seeing this woman for only a short time. She makes me laugh. She’s sexy, smart, and most of all, she’s kind, compassionate, and is always trying to make people feel better inside and out. I think about her all the time. My heart skips beats looking into her eyes. My inner core shivers to her touch. So, where’s the problem you ask?
I don’t know if what I feel is love. I haven’t had a relationship since high school. I’m almost thirty now. How will I know when I have been bitten by Cupid’s arrow? How will I know when telling her I love her will not send her screaming away from me?
Dear Bachelor Blues,
She sounds amazing. Such a lovely combination in a potential partner.
It sounds like you and she have a nice chemistry going on, which is a start. Heart skipping a beat, and thinking about her if that’s not love… then I am not sure what is! The thing is, love is complicated, I cant tell you you are in love, only you can, and only you will know how to measure the depths of that love. We feel different types of love for different people. The love you have for a husband is different from familial love for your parents or children, its different from the love you have for your friends, and even with friends, you will love each one differently. Confusing isn’t it?
All I can tell you, and it seems like stupid advice, don’t pressure yourself or her, I love you doesn’t even have to be spoken it can be shown. I tell my children I love them by telling them to “stay safe” or “go carefully”. Then the way I show my partner is vastly different and not as PG. I do tell them also, but, my point is, it doesn’t have to be said. It’s in her remembering how you like your coffee, or in you answering her calls no matter how busy you are.
You are describing a high emotion for this lady, and that’s a good thing. If it’s a recent relationship, just ride it out and see where it leads. Most of the time things go wrong because someone puts pressure on another person, or worse, they don’t communicate. You can ask her how she feels without demanding an answer. But my advice is just to look for all the little signs; the looks, the touches, the things she remembers, the interest she shows in you. Do the same back, and remember, women do like to talk about themselves so…. keep asking those questions, find out who she truly is, deep down before committing your heart to her.
Wishing you all the best,