By: Daiyu Tang, editor. Pictures by Daiyu ((& Hiroshi))
The Hathian Performing Arts Centre traded art, teaching and green screen shenanigans for the spectacle that can only come when 30 or more police officers from the Hathian Police Department (‘HPD’) filed in for an awards gala that felt half celebration and half performance theatre, and, judging by the decibel level 100% reunion of the good, the bad and the ugly (but since the HPD come in many varieties, your ugly might not be mine!).
I was the… announcer? Glorified teleprompt in black? Detective Inspector Krystal O’Neil was the event owner and stage-managed with a conductor’s calm while an Observer stringer floated the aisles gathering colour (which was mostly black and gold). The mood? Nervy pride with a chaser of gallows humour very Hathian.
Red-Carpet(ish) Arrival
There even was a red carpet, a nice dark red, just in case. Dress blues, pressed suits, a flash of satin here, a tactical boot there. Cops posed on the way in for our photographer lights; partners traded handshakes that landed like backslaps. One rookie did a double-pat on his vest like he was checking that just in case shots were fired that he’d have better chances than the others. Our photographer clicked; someone wolf-whistled in the first row and got shushed by their sergeant. Perfect. It was a better start than anticipated; pepper spray had not yet been deployed!
Onstage, a clean lectern, a modest trophy table, and an AV setup that behaved… mostly. Offstage: a pair of security guards quietly minding the doors, security, but dialled down as they weren’t trued HPD and were more akin to ‘prom chaperone.’
Detective Inspector Krystal O’Neil ran the event sheet like she apparently runs a briefing, tidy, unflappable, dry quips when needed. She opened, thanked the venue and the rank-and-file, and then let the plaques fly once I gave a speech for each one.
The Hardware. Why It Landed Where It Did…
Most Helpful Officer: Sgt. Hiroshi Shaw-Suzuki.
He’s that officer who seems to appear in the frame just before things go sideways, then somehow they don’t. I’ve flown in a helicopter with him and not been yeeted out of it (well not by him) and he’s always provided no-nonsense support in the town. His name doesn’t appear on many of the protests often and that, I guess, in Hathian is about as good as it can get.
Most Helpful & Embodiment Award: Lt. Vanora Blackheart.
When Vanora moved to the lectern, she it jiggled. She’s the department’s metronome: shows up, does the work, steadies the rest and gives you some sass while doing it. She kept her remarks tight, the smile even tighter, the clothes really tight (or not there at all) and for that, she embodies not only the HPD as awarded, but also, the spirit of Hathian in some regards. At least the Titty Twister kind.
Most Handsome Male and Most Brutal: Sgt. Carter Ellis.
You could hear the grin in the room before you saw it… rare double-win energy, or HPD deciding that someone actually BAD was deserving of winning, unlike perhaps our first winner! Carter took the ribbing I gave him well; he did the modest shoulder-shrug that says ‘it’s the team,’ then palmed both awards like they were kettle bells. Probably use them for patchwork repairs later, all Robocop style…
Best Team Player: Det. Billie Beamen.
Billie’s row went loud. She gave the stage a quick “let’s keep moving” nod that felt very shift-sergeant even if she’s not (yet) one. You can tell who keeps cases glued together by who gets hugged most on the way down the steps. Billie got three. I’d also point out she’s totally for the team by how she sticks to her point, the team’s point, despite different views being possible. Shooting a PTSD vet? Case in point.
Best Guide: Det. Angelique de Vaucluse.
Minimalist queen. Angelique accepted with the economy of someone who considers speeches a crime scene: in, out, no footprints. The line that landed, paraphrased, was basically: “Show up. Do the job. Don’t die.” Tell me you’re HPD without saying you’re HPD right?
Always Has Your Back: Det. Shelby Katz.
Krystal framed it simply: the person you want behind you when rooms go sideways. Shelby took the award with a steady jaw and a sideways glance, but few words. Teamwork can often be done in silence…
Most Handsome Female: Officer Lilura Gausman.
A rare moment of levity. Lilura took the ribbing in stride; her salute was crisp enough to slice paper. The clapping turned into a playful chant; was there a blush dear reader? I’m not sure…
Best Battering Ram: Sgt. Phillip Aubin.
Physics lesson: Aubin did not so much ‘walk on’ as the stage arrived around him. The room laughed when he skipped the stairs and stepped up from the side; the stage survived. Barely.
Funniest Officer: Sgt. Hiroshi (again).
When your gallows humour keeps partners breathing through overtime, apparently it comes with an award. Second trip to the stage; second easy bow. Swords did not fall out. Hiroshi’s superbowl moment had not come.
‘Momma Bear’ Award: Lizette.
The applause for Lizette had a different timbre warm and grateful, the sound you hear when a whole shift recognizes the person who keeps them stitched together. She’s the one who notices when a rookie’s hands won’t stop shaking, who remembers allergies, spare tourniquets, and which sergeant hasn’t eaten since dawn. Protective, practical, and perpetually prepared: if the department has a heartbeat between calls, it’s often hers. She left before the award was announced, probably to get someone help they needed!
Promotions: New Chevrons, Same Heat
Detective Inspector O’Neil did the next part, even as the room turned sauna, there were promotions to announce and three standouts took the step up:
- Detective to Detective Corporal: Alexandra Fury
- Detective to Detective Corporal: Angelique de Vaucluse
- Corporal to Sergeant: Koh Gausman
Daiyu’s note: Promotions aren’t prizes; they’re promises. I hope you promise to do better, do good and do right by Hathian. Congrats to the three now show the city why the extra metal and gold matters.
Closing thoughts
Awards nights can be cringe. This one wasn’t. The jokes landed, the speeches kept oxygen in the room, and the applause didn’t feel obligated. Did the city’s contradictions peek through? Of course. Some of the same names draw praise one week and protests the next; welcome to Hathian. But for two hours, the department let itself be… human. Tense laughs. Honest claps. Relief.
As for throwing in a bit of social media talk? Let’s do a quick style review…
Krystal O’Neil: Impeccably tailored black and steel, hair pinned to ‘will not move in a hurricane’ (Except when FDH gets rowdy about it).
Billie Beamen: Clean lines, sensible heels, a holster-friendly silhouette even off duty.
Carter ‘Alex’ Ellis: Put together like a recruitment poster (from Robocop), minus the regulation smile.
Vanora Blackheart: Classic minimalism; the kind of jacket that says ‘I have forms for that, but would go nude if needed’.
Hathian loves its contradictions. The city that chews its first responders also cheers them, sometimes in the same breath. Last night was the HPD celebrating itself, but and crucially, some of us know an officer or two we’ve relied on, perhaps even loved. Many we avoid, many we should continue to call out, but this… It was a roll call of people who keep showing up in a place that makes showing up hard. Congratulations to the winners and the newly promoted. Enjoy the glow. Tomorrow, the radio crackles again and for a few of you the bandages will need changing. Do good. Do us proud (and if you can’t do that, stay the fuck off the streets and work a desk job).
For those interested in posterity, here are the award comments as given, taken from the recording of the night.
CLICK HERE Award Commentary by HPD Officer CLICK HERE
Hiroshi – Most Helpful: Daiyu Tang nods at Krystal and steps up to the microphone with a faint smile, the kind that could be mistaken for warmth, or for amusement, depending on how well one knew her. “Thank you Krystal, I appreciate the chance to be paid to host the police and not pay to park… It’s a wonderful feeling to work two jobs to make just enough for the rent, but our first award winner is one who is possibly able to help me if I ask really really nice…” she begins, voice carrying that lilting British calm that made even her insults sound elegant, “It goes to an officer who proves that helpfulness isn’t a weakness in Hathian, it’s an act of rebellion against well, lots of things really, some of you might have a view on that.”
She glances toward Hiroshi, a glint of something playful in her eyes. “Sergeant Hiroshi Shaw-Suzuki, a man who, despite being surrounded by chaos, still manages to approach it with discipline, patience, and perhaps, dare I say, honour. A word not often used in the same sentence as…” she winks and doesn’t finish for a beat. “You’ve shown that strength doesn’t always shout. Sometimes, it simply shows up, listens, and gets things done without breaking bones or bending truth. For that, and for proving that decency can survive even here, you are awarded Most Helpful Officer of the Year.”
Vanora – Helpful: Daiyu Tang glances down at the next name on her list and lets the faintest smile curl the corner of her mouth, the kind that could mean trouble or nostalgia. “Oh look at that, we’ve got a second ‘most helpful’ as well. Silly me for not reading them out together, but this one needs her own space…” she grins, “For the boobs if nothing else, our next award for Most Helpful, goes to someone whose definition of ‘help’ is often… unconventional.” Her tone drips faint amusement, eyes flicking toward the dark figure waiting nearby.
“Lieutenant Vanora Blackheart,” she says, the name landing like a sigh wrapped in smoke. “A woman who somehow manages to make chaos look like choreography, who can drag a suspect out of a burning building and still make it look like a photoshoot for damnation’s fashion line. Maybe known as HPD’s lingerie model…”
She pauses, allowing herself one brief, knowing glance toward Vanora. “You’ve been called dangerous, relentless, impossible to manage and yet, somehow, endlessly helpful to those who earn your trust. In a city like ours, that’s a rarer virtue than virtue itself.”
A soft smirk graces Daiyu’s lips. “For your service, your singular style, and your remarkable ability to make even the devil say ‘thank you,’ please also come on stage… or move closer really and accept this award with Hiroshi… and please, keep dressing as you always do!”
Carter – Handsome & Brutal: Daiyu Tang inhales softly, the microphone catching the faint sound of amusement beneath her breath. “Ah yes…” she begins, “and now for the officer who proves that beauty and brutality are not, in fact, mutually exclusive.” Her tone is silk-smooth, but it carries a subtle, knowing edge. She has written enough articles about the man. She has covered enough protests.
“Sergeant Carter Ellis,” she says, pausing long enough to let the name do what it always does, at least to crowds of cops or criminals, draw both admiration, disgust and unease. “Winner of not one, but two awards tonight, Most Handsome Male and Most Brutal. A duality only Hathian could celebrate with a straight face. And let’s be honest, Carter’s face was only straight before his big article, now he’s more… chrome…”
She lets the moment breathe, eyes scanning the crowd before drifting back toward him. “Some say time and perhaps a little hardware have only refined the look. And as for brutality…” her smirk widens, “…well, there’s no denying results. You’ve left quite the… impression… on the city. Several, in fact and you had a pig’s head outside the department on a spike. Clap Clap… So, for the officer who can crush crime, hearts, and possibly furniture, depending on the day, please accept your twin honours. Sergeant Ellis, you are living proof that steel can, on rare occasion, be charming.”
She gestures gracefully toward the stage, voice dropping to a conspiratorial purr. “Try not to break the podium when you come up, would you Robocop?”
Bilie – Team Player: Daiyu Tang changes her footing on the stage, and adjusts the microphone, having got Carter out of the way, or rather on to stage and with her Observer’s history and acidic tongue quenched while doing so! Her tone stayed silky and as smooth as lacquer on Vanora’s… well. The microphone caught a little sound of faint amusement that could be warmth or warning. “Now this next award,” she begins, “is for Best Team Player, which, in Hathian, is an achievement of almost supernatural proportions. It means surviving both the streets and your colleagues… like Carter…”
Her eyes sweep the audience with an almost conspiratorial glint. “The recipient, Officer Billie Beamen, has demonstrated that rarest of talents, coordination under fire. Sometimes literally…” A pause, perfectly measured. “Some might say her teamwork was… captured on camera. Others might say footage never tells the full story… But either way, she made sure her team left their mark. And isn’t that what really counts in the HPD? See a man with a knife, shoot the man with a knife right?”
Daiyu smiles faintly, as if she hadn’t just dropped just a small grenade. No more than a tiny ‘bang’ for Beamen. “So, for loyalty to her colleagues in HPD, for commitment to the job, and for proving that a sharp aim isn’t just about bullets but about focus on making the story stick after, Officer Beamen, please accept your award. And don’t worry, we screened for PTSD vets at the door… most of you were allowed in!”
Vanora – Embodiment: Daiyu Tang clears her throat softly, all these officers, all these awards. However it’s more that, this time, she’s trying to disguise a grin before it spreads. “Ah… Best Embodiment….” The way she says it makes it clear what she thinks that should mean. “Now, this award was meant to celebrate those who best embody the spirit and ideals of the Hathian Police Department, dedication, discipline, and of course, presence… Doing what they need to do for the cause…” Her eyes flick toward Vanora, one brow arching just slightly. “And in the case of our next winner, I’d say presence is putting it lightly.”
She continues, tone silky like Vanora’s dress, the only one like it in the room. “Lt. Vanora has proven that authority doesn’t have to be shouted to be felt, sometimes it’s worn, walked in, even with a bad leg, and, let’s be honest, stunned into submission. Whether she’s commanding a scene or… a room, she embodies the HPD’s particular brand of devotion with both elegance and edge…”
A faint, playful glint warms her expression. “Every institution needs a poster icon, someone who reminds us that darkness can serve as uniform as much as armor. And if there’s ever a recruitment campaign for the department’s Gothic Division, I think we all know whose silhouette it’ll be… about the only one who can make me pay a parking ticket, that’s for fucking sure… Vanora, for embodying spirit, strength, and the kind of confidence that makes both halos of a Saint and handcuffs for an Officer look good, this one’s yours.” Her mouth curves into that familiar sly smile. “All yours dear…” and indicates her towards Krystal to collect.
Lilura – Most Handsome Female: Daiyu Tang grins at the scene and then, now in her flow, her pitter-patter of sass and snark, praise and power, her tone turns warm, or perhaps amused, as her gaze finds the next recipient. “Now, this next award is for Most Handsome Female Officer, though personally, I think the term dangerously well-composed under duress might be more accurate in this department… how anyone stays pretty when half the town is sending lead your way is somewhat beyond me… but there we have it… one of you manages…”
She pauses then focuses on the officer. “Officer Lilura Gausman has managed something of a miracle in Hathian policing, remaining immaculate in both uniform and poise while surrounded daily by flying fists, questionable suspects, and even more questionable colleagues… The fact that I see Lizette in the room at the same time and the man in question is probably around as well, without anyone being dead, also shows those kind of balancing and poise qualities we need…” just possibly she mutters something about cocks before colleagues under her breath, but no. It must have been an echo!
Her eyes narrow just a touch, teasingly. “Your dress uniform today is a look that says discipline meets defiance, and if anyone’s wondering how she keeps that crisp military elegance intact while the rest of you come home looking like you fought a street gang, well, that’s why it’s her award, not yours… So, Officer Gausman, congratulations. For proving that beauty and brutality can, occasionally, share the same badge!”
Hiroshi – Most Funny: Daiyu Tang steps back to the mic, the corners of her lips twitching as if she’s trying and failing, not to laugh already. “Now… Most Funny.” She lets the words hang there, eyebrow lifting in mock disbelief, “In the Hathian PD?” She snorts, “I mean, fuck you’re paying me, so I’ll read it as I see it…”
She glances toward Hiroshi as she speaks. “When the ballots were counted, I had to double-check it wasn’t a clerical error or part of another one of those emergency training simulations Sergeant Shaw-Suzuki is so fond of running… the kind where I get booted out of a helicopter. Fuckers…” she shakes her head and sighs. “But no. It seems it’s true. The man with two swords and a face that looks like it’s contemplating your moral worth has, against all odds, been declared Hathian’s leading comedian in the PD. Which, considering the usual state of this city, may just make him our most necessary one in the PD… Laughter is the best medicine after-all!”
Her tone turns mostly sincere, almost reverent. “After all, this is a man who can lead a raid, stop a crisis, and still somehow make the rest of us laugh before the next explosion hits. He’s survived Rejects, training disasters, and more near-death paperwork than any one soul should endure. If that’s not dark humour, I don’t know what is.”
She tips her head, smirking. “So, Sergeant Shaw-Suzuki, congratulations on being officially recognised for keeping both your blade and your wit sharp. Thank you, for proving that sometimes the best joke in this town is simply making it to the end of the shift alive. Now come back to Inspector Krystal and collect your award before someone demands you tell a joke to everyone and we put you to the test…”
Angelique – Best Guide: Daiyu Tang returns to the microphone, getting near the end now. She’s clapped for Hiroshi and been glad that he didn’t tell a joke and would be glad if he didn’t boot her out a door now or in the future. She imagined he could actually be quite funny. The faintest smirk as she thought about that played on her lips.
“And now, we arrive at the Best Guide award, the officer most trusted to show new recruits the ropes, the routes, and, on occasion, where the bodies are buried… the ones you bury right?” She stares at the room. Her stage. Her sass. They could bury her later, but right now she was gonna milk her pay cheque for all it was worth.
Her gaze slides toward Angelique, taking in the shades, the gloves, the crisp composure. “Now, some might interpret that title differently, Best Guide could mean a mentor, a teacher, a moral compass…” she pauses, tilting her head with mock thoughtfulness, “or it could mean the one most capable of leading a rookie safely through Hathian’s underworld and back again without a scratch or a subpoena.”
She lets her lips curve, eyes narrowing slightly behind a teasing squint. “Officer Angelique de Vaucluse, you’ve managed to master the art of mystery, gloves on indoors, sunglasses under fluorescent light… If this policing thing ever gets dull, you could moonlight as a film noir hitwoman or a very discreet therapist. Either way, we’d follow, cautiously, because clearly, you know what you’re doing.”
Her tone softens, just slightly. “You’ve guided the new generation of officers through the chaos, probably stopped a few of them from handcuffing themselves to the wrong suspect or the dildo machine you keep in the basement, and done it all with… undeniable style. So congratulations, the Best Guide award is yours. Whether you’re showing them the straight path or the scenic route through hell, you’re the one they’d best follow…”
Shelby – Always Has Your Back: nodded to Angelique who gave a decent comment about showing up. That was important, anywhere. She clapped the lady off to the side before she glanced down at her next card, lips twitching before she looks back up toward the crowd. “The next award goes to an officer who, quite literally, has your back, and judging by her hands…” she tilts her head toward Shelby, voice smooth as ink, “…also knows how to make sure no one stabs you in it…”
“Detective Shelby Katz has proven time and again that loyalty isn’t a slogan, it’s a full-contact sport. Whether it’s chasing down suspects, backing up her team, or ensuring that justice, or at least, Hathian’s version of it, lands with a memorable punch, she’s shown the kind of commitment most of us only write about.” She can sometimes be joking about herself. Not often.
A small, wry smile. “I’m assuming those knuckle wounds are real and not stage makeup. And yes, somewhere out there, someone is reconsidering their life choices because of whatever happened. I am sure, whatever I’d say, you’d shout back ‘BUT THEY DESERVED IT’… The Hathian Punch & Duty show?”
She lets the pause breathe, gaze lingering on Shelby. “Detective Katz, congratulations on winning ‘Always Has the Back of Others’ award. You’ve proven that loyalty can be fierce, that solidarity sometimes bleeds a little, and that if you’re ever in a fight, moral, physical, or otherwise, you’re the person everyone hopes is standing on their side…”
Krystal – Silent but Deadly: Daiyu Tang steps up to the microphone again, “Just this and then two more left… I am sure you want the free bar, more than the speech…” A faint smirk continues at the corners of her mouth as the crowd’s attention shifts probably to the bar at the back. “And now,” she begins, “We come to a woman who doesn’t just embody HPD, she occasionally broadcasts it for good measure in the sense of ‘We will take over EVERYTHING’… powerful yet small…” A pause, perfectly timed, as her gaze flicks toward Krystal. “Detective Inspector Krystal O’Neil.”
She gestures lightly toward her, voice dripping with dry British calm. “She’s proof that you don’t have to be tall to cast a long shadow, only strategic about where you stand when the light hits. We’ve seen her lead arrests, survive trials, and out-manoeuvre politicians and criminals alike, sometimes both at once. Almost hanged, but never leaves you long hanging. She’s what your department needs to ensure it remains silent and deadly. Some call it corruption from the top, some call it genius, I just call it… public relations. Your last official media officer was shit, this one, Krystal with one of her many hats, sent me on a yoga retreat to help me get team HPD spirit…”
She smiles icily at Krystal, “From the Hathian Liberation ‘power play’, which I’m fairly sure had more plot twists than a Netflix drama, to that unforgettable trial where the HAC learned what it’s like to underestimate her, and we all learned the colour of her panties, Inspector O’Neil has turned chaos into choreography. Even I’ve had the dubious pleasure of being part of one of her educational exercises aforementioned” A pause; the faintest smirk. “She called it yoga. I called it unlawful detention. Either way, my flexibility has improved…”
Her tone turns almost sincere… almost. “Krystal, this award recognises leadership that’s fierce, unflinching, and occasionally terrifying. You’ve proven that power isn’t about size, it’s about precision, and that sometimes, the most dangerous weapon in the room isn’t the gun, it’s the woman giving the orders.”
A small nod. “So congratulations, Inspector. For surviving politics, public scrutiny, and me. That’s three miracles in one lifetime and I don’t often miss my targets…”
Lizette – Momma Bear: Daiyu Tang clears her throat softly as Krystal gives her the snark back, “Oh come now, maybe next time you’ll find yourself on a writing retreat, considering you gave me all of ten minutes after you gave me the names to do this job for you!” Her voice curled through the mic with that smooth, measured British lilt.
“Now, our penultimate award is one that speaks to protection, nurturing, and the occasional terrifying growl when someone crosses her cubs. It’s the ‘Momma Bear’ award…” she glares at Krystal as she reads it. She pauses, then focuses her eyes toward Lizette. “…and in Hathian, that can only mean one person, Lieutenant Lizette Calhern… She does baking on the side as well guys… like all good moms…”
A slow smile forms, sharp at the edges. “Lizette’s the officer who proves that strength and softness can co-exist, preferably in separate interrogation rooms. She’s guided recruits, shielded colleagues, and, when necessary, scared the living hell out of anyone foolish enough to threaten them. Some say she keeps the HPD family together. Others might say she’s single-handedly responsible for expanding it… one husband, partner, or conveniently timed promotion at a time. For the record, I blame Inspector O’Neil for the title of this award. ‘Momma Bear,’ she called it, though judging by the track record of the HPD, I suspect ‘Den Manager’ might been closer to the mark…”
Her tone softens, just a little. “But in all seriousness, Lieutenant Calhern represents the heart of what the Department could be if it wanted… protective, loyal, and fiercely human. When the city bites, she bites back harder, and when an officer falters, she’s the one they look to. Just… maybe don’t look too closely, or you might end up married by morning! Lizette, congratulations. You’ve kept your cubs safe, your claws sharp, and your exes mostly breathing. That’s what I call exemplary service…”
Phillip Aubin – Battering Ram: Daiyu Tang leans into the mic with that glint of mischief that usually means trouble and since it’s the last award, it definitely means sass. “And now,” she says, voice rich with dry amusement, “Our final award of the evening. One that celebrates an officer who has proven that when the door says no, he says try harder… Some say when they were looking to cast Hodor, the doors took one look at this man and fucked right off so they had to settle for a lesser man. Still, Game of Thrones’ loss, was HPD’s gain…”
She lifts the small plaque with both hands, mock-serious. “This is the Best Battering Ram award, and truly, there could only ever be one winner. Sergeant Phillip Aubin!”
Her gaze sweeps across the crowd. “I expect you are all familiar with the Sergeant’s… presence, imagine if a tank and a brick wall had a very determined love-bastard-child. You’d only be half there. He’s like seven feet of ‘no nonsense,’ a one-man riot unit, and living proof that physics occasionally takes a day off in Hathian… there’s a reason that we make metal dick jokes about Carter, because you couldn’t likely joke about Aubin!”
She grins, “They say the HPD doesn’t need armoured vehicles anymore. Why would they, when they’ve got Phillip? Doors? Optional. Barricades? Suggestive. Criminals hiding behind reinforced steel? Adorable… Sergeant, you’ve proven that subtlety may be overrated, but results aren’t. Whether you’re breaching a building or blocking half of it by standing still, you get the job done…”
A sly smile follows as she turns slightly toward Krystal. “Inspector, I’m fairly sure budget reports are going to show a dramatic reduction in property damage this year, not because of restraint, but because the buildings have learned to surrender pre-emptively because of Aubin… So congratulations, Sergeant. You’ve redefined the term force of nature. Please come up and collect your award, carefully, though, the stage has feelings.”
