By: Events Journalist. Edited by Daiyu Tang (From a shitty motel. FML)
((Photos by: Yuki Wikifoo-Blanchett ))
Well my dear reader, one of my colleagues was attending a little party, probably hoping not to get any work done and just sample some goods when some shit happened and as my sub-title suggests, what started as a party ended in a pyre. Thankfully our journalist did then do their job, so here’s how the Green House went from mellow to inferno. – Daiyu
An Invite
What began as a summer block party outside the Green House, the city’s beloved dispensary and excuse for grilled meat, (bad?) music, and stronger joints turned into the kind of spectacle only Hathian can stage. The inflatables went up, the BBQs were lit, and the stoners came out in force. Popsicles, brownies, and oversized bongs were passed around like a Hathian communion and in the interests of ensuring Daiyu was given her daily quota of blood (articles – Ed) I was there to partake and record. For a moment, it felt like the city was capable of joy.
Then the fire started.
Witnesses describe “A haze thicker than the usual one,” as the scent of burning marijuana carried on the wind, coating the crowd in smoke that was decidedly not from the BBQ pit. In Hathian, it’s often hard to tell the difference between a party and a disaster until someone starts screaming. (Isn’t that why we love it so – Ed)
High Flames, Low Expectations
By mid-afternoon, the Fire Department of Hathian (FDH) had their hands full trying to beat back flames leaping from the dispensary roof. The Green House itself, meant to be a temple of mellow highs, became a bonfire, lighting up the block and drawing gawkers from across the city. Rumours spread quickly that the marijuana stockpile inside The Green House had gone up in flames, essentially hot-boxing an entire neighbourhood. (Being charitable, I’d assume they were there to help, rather than for the free high that was wafting around, but it appears not – Ed)
FDH crews worked fast, though locals noted the sight of exhausted firefighters battling the blaze while party-goers debated whether it was “worth trying to roast marshmallows in the smoke cloud.” A few even suggested that the fire “smelled right” and that FDH should not damped it down. The line between crisis and comedy has always been thin here in Hathian. (Yes – scary rituals one day, Cops promoting military takeovers the next and high-times fires the next, never a dull moment in our city – Ed).
Collateral Damage (Or Collateral Buzz)
Early reports suggest at least minor injuries. Smoke inhalation, a sprained ankle or two, and several people wandering glass-eyed into Lou’s with cases of the munchies so severe bartenders were reported to have called it “a public health emergency event“.
Residents nearby swore the air itself felt “heavier, funnier, like Hathian had finally mellowed out.” FDH has not confirmed whether half the block caught a contact high, but you’d forgive anyone for suspecting that no one was taking themselves to HGH today. This was a freebie of the biggest order.
Whodunnit – HPD Promises ‘Full Investigation’
As for the cause, theories sprout faster than weeds in Hathian’s cracked sidewalks (Laveau is worse – Ed). Was it an accident, an unattended grill tipping too close to stock? A rival gang torching competition? An insurance scam in a city where such schemes are practically civic tradition? Was it Robocop-Ellis drilling his latest ‘witness’ until his metal parts overheated and he popped spark instead of spunk?
HPD, predictably, promised a “full investigation,” which in Hathian usually means: don’t hold your breath (or if you do, avoid breathing too deeply until the smoke clears – Ed). Some whisper that certain faces seen lingering before the fire started weren’t entirely unfamiliar to either FDH or HPD. Nothing sticks in Hathian but soot, suspicion, and scandal.
The Green House Legacy Goes Up In Smoke
The Green House wasn’t just a dispensary; it was a cultural hub. For some, it was a legal refuge from pain which is something we should all support. For others, it was simply where you got a popsicle (hoped it wasn’t drugged with Bliss or whatever else was around – Ed) , a smile, and maybe something stronger tucked into a paper bag. Its loss, even temporarily, is a blow to local businesses trying to stand upright in a city that insists on knocking them down.
Whether the Green House rebuilds or fades into another blackened storefront will depend on insurance, investors, and whether the owners still have the willpower to start again. Hathian doesn’t make that easy.
And so, Hathian once again finds itself coughing in the aftermath, though this time with a suspiciously mellow grin. Whether the blaze was a tragedy, a crime, or just another day in ‘paradise’, it was pure Hathian: a party that burned too bright, too fast, leaving behind ash, smoke, and stories that will linger longer than the smell.
Maybe, in the end, the fire gave Hathian what it needed most: a collective deep breath and chance to chill for free, (until the hangover, the charges, and the insurance claims roll in – Ed).
