WOMAN FLUNG THROUGH GRIND WINDOW

MAIN ST, HATHIAN – Disturbance at local coffee haven, the Daily Grind, this afternoon, as a woman identified only as “Caris” was thrown through one of the front windows by an unidentified male. Folks over at the nearby Gein Burger did not report any disturbances as far as they witnessed, and only one woman, who wished to remain anonymous, was able to give a brief account, saying only that the man was very, very large. The victim was taken to Hathian General Hospital for treatment.