Dear Abigail.. 08/20/2011

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Dear Abigail,

The practice of letter-writing appears to be a dying form because of e-mail and texting. But when I receive a nice gift, I feel the proper way to acknowledge it is to write a thank-you letter. Can you please tell me how to do one that doesn’t come across as awkward? When I try to get my thoughts down on paper, I am..

-Stuck!

Dear Stuck,

Jot this down. I’m only going to say this one time. Get one of those blank cards from the dollar store and write this inside: Big T, little h, little a, little n, little k, SPACE, big Y, little o, little u. Now, grab all your underwear. I’m going to teach you how to write dumbass on the inside. Big D, little u..

-Abby

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Dear Abigial,

I dated a woman for about five years. She dumped me soon after college graduation with no explanation. All she said was she ‘needed to be alone for a while’, but she could see herself marrying me and having kids with me ‘eventually’. I accepted it and tried to move on. We’ve stayed in touch for the last two years, but we have not slept together. She calls me every night before she goes to bed. I never call her or visit her. I talk to her because I don’t want to be rude. I’d prefer not to. What’s the point? When we split, I told her I didn’t want contact. Would it be wrong for me to completely cut off communication? I loved her once, but her constant calls don’t allow me closure. Even if she asked me to get back together, I wouldn’t. She hurt me and I no longer trust her. What should I do?

-Needing Closure

Dear Closure,

Next time she calls, have a man answer and say he is ‘your boyfriend Bruce’. She will never call again. Also, would it kill you to take Bruce out for a nice dinner once in a while? He is too good for you anyway.

-Abby

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Need some of Abigail’s advice? Write us an email or send us a letter. ((IM Valena Vacano))

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