By: Daytona Knox, ΔΕΑ President
Recently a poster made it into the CU Supplement in Observer accusing the Delta Epsilon Alpha Fraternity of quite a few things, and while it was signed ‘Anonymous’ we suspect the Lambda Obscura Greek house of being behind it. Mainly as it surfaced not long after we ran a prank on them! This, we guess is a ‘counter prank’, albeit one that failed miserably, but I’ll get back to why later.
Some of you know me and might be wondering what are my motivations for making this article at all? Some of you might know Daiyu and wonder if she’ll let me write this article (sigh – Ed). Let me tell you:
Greek life is a vital part of any campus environment, and with it comes Greek House rivalries. We are young and we like to compete, occasionally pushing boundaries and norms, and instrumental to this approach to campus tradition, is the pranking games at CU.
ΔΕΑ came up with an elaborate prank on Lambda Obscura and took our time to be creative in several ways. We planned it, we executed it, and we made it land with great precision. It was downright hilarious, and so we expected to get hit in return. For days we wondered what the creative forces could come up with in AO and when the poster hit, we were as disappointed as my prom night date getting jizzed on after 10 seconds of foreplay (Just for that quote you can publish – Ed). That’s the motivation creating this article, to show them what it takes to reach ΔΕΑ Prank levels, so that pitiful attempts never happens again. That, and of course to ridicule them all over again, because its just so much fun.
The Ho-Busters Prank
An ΔΕΑ Pledge by the name of Lawrence, made the brothers of Delta Epsilon Alpha aware that posters announcing a Lambda Obscura House Meeting had been plastered all over campus and as that poster had a mysterious occult looking theme, he suggested that we should do a Ghostbuster’esque prank on them, during their meeting. The idea was approved for its novelty among the brothers, and creative ideas were soon after being tossed around in our internal group chat. Who doesn’t want to make proton beam jokes, or cross our streams over the piss-poor LO(s)ers!?
First we ordered one-size costumes for everyone, Soren had particular troubles fitting into it with his size, but we made it work. Next, we modified the chest patches and added our own last names to it but didn’t stop there. We knew it would be lame to simply show up as the Ghostbusters, so we came up with an alternate version, named ‘The Ho-Busters’ as a few of the Lambda girls had willingly dropped to their knees during the ΔΕΑ organized frathouse party over the Holidays, and sucked dick for praise during the blowjob contest.
Lawrence showing his hilarious genius traits again, modified the original Ghostbusters arm patch, and made this:
At the same time, we realized we couldn’t use classic 80’s CGI in real time, which made the Ghostbuster Proton Packs a silly no go, so we ultimately decided to go with classic 90’s Super Soaker Squirt Guns, to give those LO(s)ers a cold shower.
So we had the uniform, the insignias and the gear nailed, now we just needed to perfect the Ho-Buster style. Soren was instrumental in this part, and he came up with instead of pretending to detect ghost activity, it was instead ho-activity, with his little makeshift P.K.E. Meter, just like in the movies. He’d use it to announce once he had found a ho, and then the rest of us would spray her with water. Simple enough.
Execution
It was time to crank our cosplay and of course our pledges have to work hard, so we made the pledge announce our arrival by forcing him to make that annoying Ghostbuster Ambulance sound upon arrival, and it was pretty well done for a human. We were ready to barge in, and so we did; crashing that AO House meeting like pros. Soren started the detector game, going to each girl to use his ho-meter to scan them, while the rest of us stood ready with out Super Soakers. Close your eyes my fellow students, and imagine this scene.
Lamda Obscura members were sitting around a large dinner table, no less than 8 members looking completely dumbstruck and confused, having no idea what was going on as we played out our prank. Their President sat on a dining room chair trying to still conduct the meeting, in an attempt to ignore us, but we ultimately broke through this shallow attempt of controlling the situation. Instead of getting up from the chair like a man though, this was his reaction.
You know you’ve hit a homerun when a Greek House President threatens you with Campus Police!
We did our thing, Soren announced the detection result, and we sprayed her down until the soakers were empty, and left after that. Mission Accomplished! It was hilarious and did we stop there? Of course not. I remixed the Ghostbuster theme into a ‘Ho-Busters’ variant, and published it on the CU Bulletin Board to taunt the Lambdas even further, just for kicks.
The LO(s)ers Counter Prank
Like I said initially, we waited for days anticipating some kind of counter prank, but it never happened. Instead, all we got, was this poster:
Really? Is that the best Lambda Obscura can come up with? Is this the product of all their combined creativity? A poster any fool can make in 10 minutes? If the answer is yes, the ‘Obscure’ part of their name must be in reference to their relevance in CU Greek Life.
To better illustrate exactly how little this impacts ΔΕΑ morale, we printed out the poster and slapped it on our main house wall for comic relief. It turns out mocking that poster is great for laughs!
Also on a side-note, If I/we really had STD’s, its likely because we had sex with several members of Lambda Obscura, which means Patient Zero has to be in their ranks. Next time clean up your own room first, so your message don’t backfire like it just did…
All is not lost however, and we hope that AO will put more thought into their next prank, as we are most definitely already planning ours, and they will be great. This is sacred Greek House Traditions, and you disrespect it with your pitiful displays.
So… Do better next time!
