By: Daiyu Tang
Oh dear oh dear. Columtreal’s Delta Epsilon Alpha promised ‘Campus After Dark.’ I wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but with four years of campus tucked into the back of my mind, I knew it was probably likely to involve drink, illicit substances, possibly a police raid and plenty of nudity. Without spoiling the full article it delivered at least three of those, in great measure (in one particular case – see photo below).
It delivered the usual: free booze, ice-breaker cards, and a familiar slide from party games into a ‘contest’ about women performing while men judged. Progress, apparently, took the night off. Now now, I know Carly or others will be like ‘Daiyu get laid’, or ‘freedom means freedom to sloot’. Yah yah. But why is it always the guys directing the events – next time, let’s have Isabis organise… see what those guys are good for and give them a score!
Anyway, frat president Daytona Knox did the welcomes, “plenty of booze, social games and a pool…” although it had to be said that the ice-breaker cards were softer than I expected…. ‘Do you prefer the city or country?’ or ‘what two things are you good at?’
Still, the house special, rum with Dr Pepper, did brisk trade. Guests came in waves: Tasha Wilson who seemed to be following her own schedule… Model and provocateur Isabis who floated between door and drinks… Shop assistant Liza who worked the room, and a blindfolded ‘Sandy‘ who sought refuge in the hot tub.
Candy Rain
Ambrosia gummies appeared with a cry of ‘FREE AMBROSIA!’, which was generous of the giver, but might explain why she hasn’t yet established a lucrative CU trade – too many freebies for this festival of impulse.
Then came the pivot. Knox teased a ‘secret contest,‘ quickly expressed as a demonstration judged by the brothers. To his credit, consent was voiced; to the party’s discredit, the framework was the same old one: women as performers, men as the canvas for their ‘art’.
If you need the explicit – it was a blow job contest. Who gave the best. At least they had a choice of flesh or plastic. All choose flesh, of which there was quite a bit on display. Since CU Gossip Girl seems to have taken a break, I’ll just say that the censor emojis I’ve used to in fact correlate to size. President Average vs. Anime Man Massive. Yep.
Contest Performers
Two clear frontrunners stepped up. Liza and Isabis treated the crowd to theatrical, confident showings that drew cheers and a “10 out of 10… or 11” from a judge. A tiebreak was declared… A late entrant, Jules, insisted on “showing the rest how it is done,” while upstairs it appeared one off-duty police officer forming another duo with her date reached a predictable finale. The frat president, briefly a prop to the contest, and then an emcee again, encouraged everyone to “have some fun,” adding that the house was “safe… ish.” Precisely.
Not every moment stayed buoyant. A bar receipt sailed into this reporter’s head; an insult followed against my girlfriend and seeing that no good would come from having us beat up a guy in a frat house (fragile things egos) we exited to allow the good vibes to continue. Inside, the majority simply kept to the cards, the cups, and the spectacle.
Photos I took show the front-step greetings, the crowded coffee tables, the pool glow, and the semicircle of onlookers when the ‘contest’ hit its stride. The Observer will spare the explicit details; the implications were loud enough. If equality is a ladder, evenings like this can feel like missing rungs, plenty of energy to climb, precious little structure to rise on. Plenty of ‘things’ rising though.
If you attended and want a copy of a photo you’re in without censor pasties, drop me a note. I… still have to share campus with you after all!
