One Rub n’ Tug Too Many Leads to Baby Daddy Whodunit

1 min read

An expecting mother of Hathian is in search of her baby’s father.

Amber Dawson, owner of the Rub n’ Tug on Bourbon St., discovered she was pregnant in November. It was as much a surprise to her as it was a mystery.

Dawson cannot fully recall all the men she recently entertained. The list of potential fathers, according to her, is quite long. A total of 18 are accounted for. In order to narrow down the list, she asks for the assistance of Hathian and for her gentleman callers to step forward: Chong Diabolito, Cornwalace, Mudbone Catnap, Camden Fabers, Faque Zero, Corde, Vicus Grau, Hirohito Tanaka, Chase Anteonlli, Christian Bellefleur, Corvus Deceit, Connor Benino, Cheech Diabolito, Rupert Braxton, El Leeroy, Bret, Cujo Myrtle,  and “Little Cletis” Sting.  In addition to paternity tests,

Dawson also encourages the men to take STD tests after she came up positive for Chlamydia.

To bring further attention to her search, Dawson vouches to share paternity results in a Jerry Springer-like reality show hosted daily on YouTube. Each clip will feature a short introduction of the potential father.

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