Detective Goldstein Picks Up Hot Hathian Trash

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A Hathian police officer revives an old program for prisoner reform.

Detective Jimmy Goldstein intends to clean up Hathian one parking lot at a time. A test run at Rader Records on King St. was conducted with one volunteer prisoner. Stick in hand, the prisoner clears the concrete of used condoms, Daily Grind coffee cups, and Gein Double Bypass wrappers. Parking spaces are once again free of debris.

“Why not make the scum of this city that commits crimes after crimes clean it up?” asked Goldstein. “Make them do something useful for a change.”

He hopes the revived program will help improve relations with the public.

“To show that the HPD is not just a place of rape and beatings but also of community service.”

Previous attempts at a clean-up program meet with failure as inmates habitually escape. Goldstein vouches new security measures will prevent such incidents.

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