Twisted Scissor Sisters at the Titty Twister

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Submitted by Joel Mill

The Titty Twister has become a staple of Hathian over the years and for good reason. The tacky neon lights, dirty red stucco walls, and unpolished bar railings all give the strip joint an inviting space for all the undesirables of Hathian.

It was another normal evening at the Titty Twister on July 23rd. Nicole was on the pole leaving a streak of body oils and juices during her routine as Simon was working that evening, with his usual gusto.

Dr. Frontenac walked in a few minutes later for a round of drinks. Everyone was having a good time, enjoying the dancers, drinks, and good company until everything degraded faster than a fat girl at a all you can eat buffet.

At approximately 6:30 a couple of trailer girls walked in. One of the girls wore an all orange outfit and matching purse. She could be described as looking like an advert for The Grind’s pumpkin spice lattes. The other one wore as little and ill-fitting clothing as possible. The third and last of the trailer trio was clearly under the influence of some narcotic. What set her apart from the other two was her voice. It was a bit higher than a man’s but lower than a women’s and also she had a huge bulge showing under her sweat pants.

This tawdry threesome decided to add to the night’s entertainment by hurling verbal abuses the the patrons of the strip club, especially at doctor. The tension was thicker than it would be for Mayor Bobby Boxer in an interview with Observer reporter Joanne Steele. Dr. Frontenac did attempt to walk away from the confrontation when the giant Cheeto dressed woman decided to assault the doctor with her orange knock off purse.

It was at this point that the butch blond dressed in ill-fitting clothing decided to charge at Dr. Frontenac’s boyfriend headfirst toward his groin, not the kind of head job most are accustomed to, I assure you. The innocent boyfriend was forced to defend himself against this tacky harridan, and so a brawl ensued. The innocent doctor was knocked to the floor by the fashionably blind woman dressed in orange vicious attack.

The boyfriend was enraged and ready to put an end to the madness and save the doctor but was overpowered by the husky blond and the grisly woman dressed in the hideous orange dress. It was at this point that the woman dressed in orange decided to sexually assault the Doctor’s boyfriend.

Alas, the night ended when the trashy trio left the Titty Twister broken and ashamed.

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