Dear Grace: Anti-Cosplayer

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Dear Grace,

I have a pretty good relationship but there is something my boyfriend does in bed that I dont understand. He insists on wearing a Darth Vader mask during sex. He even makes me call him ‘Darth Kickass’. Its really annoying. I try to imagine I am with someone else, or have sex with the lights off, but the noise of this mask is off putting, he sounds like hes breathing through a ventilator. He thinks my favourite position is doggie style because I dont even want to look at him. Please tell me what to do.

Sincerely

Anti-cosplayer

 

Dear Anti-Cosplayer,

All I can say is you need to open up dialogue. I am sure there’s a reason Darth Kickass is so hell bent on doing this. Perhaps its a power thing. Perhaps he’s one of those men who isn’t comfortable with his own orgasm face. Perhaps he’s hoping you will dress up too. Find a wookie costume or something. Keep wearing it till he gets the message or to improve sex if he finds it sexy. I would suggest you dress up as princess Leia, that’s always a popular one. But wasn’t she Darth Vaders daughter? Then again that’s a kink on its own.

I will always say, if you are uncomfortable with something your sexual partner does in bed, you need to discuss it. However, if joining in with his fantasy pleases him, do it. Sex isn’t just pleasure for one person. Worst case just let him be darth kick ass on Wednesdays.

What is a concern is that you keep giving into him. I wonder if you have told him what -you- want and like? Have you ever asked him to do something for you? This is important too. It’s not about one persons pleasure, it should be mutual. On the occasions you don’t match up in your likes, take turns. Sex should be fun for both of you. If you don’t know what you like or want from sex, I think you need to explore your own body. I think you should find ways for him to explore it too. Experiment.

Good luck,

Grace

Need some helpful advice? Ask Grace! Contact her through Twitter @GraceFrontenac or message her directly! All submissions will be treated as anonymous unless otherwise stated.
((Contact Countess.Chickenwing in game or @GraceFrontenac on twitter.))

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