Hathian’s Hot for a Tool Up

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Hathian Mayor Bobby Boxer announced earlier this month the creation of a new small business loan task force to help boost the city’s economy.

It’s called Hot in Hathian and the premise is to boost the local economy through remodeling neglected and mismanaged construction projects throughout the city. Previous attempts to rebuild Hathian, after Hurricane Katrina and the 2010 Gas Explosion, met several setbacks due to financial fraud by previous mayors and city planners.

The primary focus is to help businesses get back on their feet in wake of the current global economic crisis. Mayor Boxer believes now is an opportunity for improvement.

“We believe Hathian is in a unique position to attract and grow new businesses in this post-apocalyptic capitalist hellscape,” the mayor spoke in a press conference on Monday. “We have to strike while the iron is hot! Seize control of the moment! Direct innovation in revitalized industry. The cost to miss out on this opportunity is significantly greater than any inconveniences we may suffer along the way.”

A public-private partnership employs one person full time to lead and execute task force activities. There is also a diverse advisory team representing all sectors of Hathian.

Citizens around Hathian report seeing the task force at work.

“They rolled up in this black van, no windows, man!” reports an eye witness. “They got on these black suits and hats that cover their faces! Took pictures of places and people. They were there one moment, and when I looked away, they were gone! Like ghosts, dude.”

Construction is expected to carry on over the next several months.

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